Letter Writing

Ever since reading the very long quote that is below this post I have spent a lot of time contemplating on it. Words are powerful. Words are also scary. Words are a necessity. They are what we learn to make sure each other's needs are heard and being met. The hardest part of using words for me is figuring out which ones I need to say and which ones I should just keep to myself. It is a guessing game for me in so many ways. I always worry about what will happen after everything has been laid out in front of a person... all the cards out on the table. The waiting period between telling someone something and receiving their reaction back is the most excruciating time period I can put myself through. I imagine so many scenarios, and usually they tend to be the worst ways the reaction will play out. I tend to do that as a defense mechanism, so mentally I have prepared for the worst so if it does end up being that I will be able to handle it in the best way possible. Then there are times I think I am right in holding those words back, but soon after I tend to regret keeping them to myself.

Usually when I have words I want to say but am really too scared to actually say them I will write the thoughts in letters. In fact I have a nice sized box of unsent letters under my bed. Some days I pull out the box and re-read them and see how much of my thoughts and feeling have changed since I last wrote the letter. If they are still right on then I will send it, but if they are different then I tend to just keep them in the box. I do this because I feel like in a heated moment I may say something that I do not mean at all, but once said I can't take back. I feel that by writing letters and waiting a few weeks or even a month after I have cooled off from the topic at hand I will have a better perspective on what I would want to say to that person. I feel a sense of relief after I write letters. Like a weight has been lifted from my chest.

I must say that writing letters is another favorite way to pray for me to. I have written so many letters to God. I tend to write them while in Adoration, or when I am at home before I go to bed. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night and write them. It may sound a little cheesy to some, but it is a way that I feel closest to God. Maybe you can try it yourself sometime and see how you like it. Who knows, you just might get hooked.