A Traveler's Prayer

O Almighty and merciful God, who hast commissioned Thy angels to guide and protect us, command them to be our assiduous companions from our setting out until our return; to clothe us with their invisible protection; to keep from us all danger of collision, of fire, of explosion, of fall and bruises, and finally, having preserved us from all evil, and especially
from sin, to guide us to our heavenly home.
Through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Amen.

As I mentioned in my post below I am headed off to Memphis, Tennessee this morning. A fun eight hour drive there... and an eight hour drive back on Sunday. It should be a fun time with my family who I have not seen for about two years or so. Please keep my family's safety in your prayers as we are away this week-end. :)

"Is the girl with the broken smile"

Today, more than most days, I have had this incredible urge to just get in my car and drive. Thankfully I will be able to go on a long car ride this week-end as I am going down to Memphis, Tenn. for my Aunt's wedding... but I really want to get in the car a just drive. Drive like my life depends on it. I do not have any clue where I would go... I just want to go.

Due to work and Mass and a meeting I was not able to do that this evening. I chose to do the responsible thing and follow through with my obligations. For the first time I was mad at myself for doing that... being responsible... I just wanted to go. Get away from so many things for a little while. I want to be the one to leave instead of watching people go for a change. Is that crazy? Wanting to just go somewhere new and unfamiliar. Somewhere where people do not know my name and my family history. Some town where I feel like I am a blank canvas and I can be whatever I want to be without caring how people react...That thought terrifies me in a way, but living in a college town is so hard. It is tough because I do become close to people, but in the back of my mind I always wonder whether I should put myself out there for them knowing that in a year or so they will be leaving. It is heartbreaking.

Last night was a hard night for me... I had to do something I never thought I would have to do, and yet I had to do it. It was what needed to be done, but it sucks that I was the one that had to make the call. Something switched on for me in my mind after that phone call and as I sat there while waiting and answering questions about what I witnessed last night, all I could think about was how if I were not there what would have happened? I know I did the right thing, but part of me wishes that my brother would have chosen differently to not put me in the middle. As an older sister it is hard to watch a younger sibling make so many bad choices. I try talking to them, pray for them, point them in the right direction, listen to them... I try to be as great of a role model as possible for them, and when they still keep making those bad decisions I get frustrated.

I think my problem is that I care too much. Some may say that is not a bad thing, but being the one that cares too much ends up hurting myself after awhile. I am getting really tired of that feeling... so I think that has a lot to do with my eagerness to get into my car and go away for awhile.

I will probably come back and read this later on and regret even typing this out, but right at this moment, since I can't get into a car just yet, it is about the only thing that I really want to do, and now that I did it I feel so much better.

"Hallelujah"

I will admit, I am guilty of being an American Idol fan... This year my pic for the winner from almost the beginning is this guy, Lee...This may just be the best version I have ever heard of this song... and I gotta say I do love this song. Enjoy!

"The Road Ahead"

"The Road Ahead"

My Lord God
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please You.
And I hope that I have that desire
in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always,
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for You are ever with me
and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

This is pretty much the "theme prayer" for my life. Not that I've ever actually heard of a "Life Theme Prayer," but it seems to be how my life is, and will always be. Who knows where life will lead me, but as long as I keep God in the front of my mind and getting into heaven my main goal, than I know I will be ok.

Top memories of my twenty-second year. :)

My 22nd year started off with a bang... and finished off in somewhat of a bang... It was filled with ups and downs, hellos, and goodbyes, family drama and fun, hanging-out with so many great people... I have a lot to be thankful for. :)

With that being said... my favorite moments of my 22nd year are...

My 22nd birthday party last year. It was so much fun. :)

My good friend, Steph P.'s birthday was also a highlight. That was a blast!

St. Charles' youth group Summer Bible studies and ultimate frisbee games afterwords

Teaching confirmation classes this year

Helping lead the Antioch retreat

"Holy" hours and drop-ins with St. Paul's

Christmas break- too many fun things happened over that break. :)

Being with my sister while she was in labor with Keegan.

Kairos retreat!!!!

Hanging-out with my Kairos small group after the retreat was so much fun!

St. paul's S.L.T. camp-out was so much fun!

The ice cream sundae party I had at my house almost a month ago.

Officially becoming Keegan's Godmother, and the nice get-together after. :)

There are so many more memories.... Thank-you, God, for blessing me with these times that I had with all the great people in my life. :)

Audrey Hepburn on Womanhood

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others."
~A.H.~

"They were always fireflies to the untrained eye, but I could always tell..."

It seems interesting to me how in the past few years the day before my birthday I become kind of nostalgic... I remember things about growing up which I have not thought about in such a long time... I tend to think back on the more simpler days of my childhood.

I remember how when back around the age of four when my daddy would take me to my neighbor's house across the street and push me on their huge tree swing. I remember that feeling of being pushed so high that I thought I could some how fly away. I always loved it when we would do that.

I remember how catching lightning bugs in the late Summer evening with my cousins who lived right across the street was almost a magical thing. We would catch them and my mom would have a jar with holes poked into the top and we would keep them in it for the night. We would all hang-out in the living room once it was completely dark and let the jar containing the lightning bugs be the lantern for the room. It was so captivating to wait for them to glow. I remember how some kids would catch them just to stomp on them to watch the glow, and I would get so upset with them for killing such a cool creature. I always thought it was a cruel and mean thing to do.

I remember on the fourth of July how after the big fireworks show happened at the stadium we would go home and hang-out with the neighborhood families for our own little fireworks shows. The whole neighborhood pitched in and bought fireworks. My favorite thing was the sparklers as a kid. I guess that is how I began being a pyromaniac. I loved it. The next morning all of us kids would wake up and go outside to view the "damage" we caused the night before. We would all then work together to pick up the trash that was left over from the fireworks we shot off.

I remember how on snow days the most fun thing to do was to go up the HUGE dirt hill in the field in my backyard and sled down. That was before they built the apartment complex that is now what at one time was my backyard. Us neighborhood kids would have races down that hill... we would then move onto building igloos and having snow ball fights after we got tired of trudging up the hill.

It was a much simpler time as a kid... and I miss those times. I know I was a lucky kid and am thankful for as many good memories as these that I have....