Disturbing Commercial

I was really taken back by the above commercial. It rubbed me the wrong way. I understand they wanted something different to catch a person's attention, but they could have done something a little less controversial to do that. I just found the way they portrayed the priest in it was totally inappropriate. We should always remember to pray for our priests to stay strong in their vocation because I am sure there is a lot of temptation out there for them...

Sometimes It Is The Simplest Things That Can Make A Difference

I found this photo randomly while online. It makes me wonder how many of these types of signs could indeed make a difference. I also wonder how many people it would impact and who would actually take it seriously when they choose to take one.

Roles of Men And Women In The Catholic Church

There has been somewhat of an on-going discussion between my groups of friends over feminism in the Catholic Church. In one group we have been discussing the roles men and women should play in the Church. Basically why women should not be priests and why we should only have girl "altar boys" only when desperate. In the other group we talked about how there is the wrong kind of feminism and the right kind. Just because women are capable to do the things men can does not mean we need to prove it to everyone. We may be capable, but that is not what we are called to do.

My favorite Bible quote to reference when I speak about this topic is; Ephesians 5:22-33.

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

It is quite obvious here that men and women are called to do different things. Men to take the lead and be strong to help protect and defend the Church. Women are called to follow the men's lead. Even though Men are called to be in leadership roles, women still have a lot of power in their parishes. Women are made to be caregivers and teachers. We as women are the ones put in charge to form the minds of the future of the Church. That is a huge deal to be entrusted with. We are also called to be Sacristans and make sure the sanctuary stays clean and beautiful because a building housing the tabernacle should be kept in the best shape. Women have equal rights to be sponsors at Baptism and Confirmation.They can be readers at Mass, extraordinary ministers (laypersons who assist the priest at Mass to give out Holy Communion, sometimes call Eucharistic ministers) if needed, and they can work in the parish office.

There is a downside for those who try to push the interchangeability between the roles of the sexes. It often results in society encouraging men not to be strong leaders and not to take roles of leadership in their families, in their parish, and in society. We don't want to give an excuse for men to become wimpy. We want all of our Catholic men to be strong and ready to take action when called to do so.

I know I am probably going to be considered a little old fashioned to some who may read this, but it is how I feel.

"I Love People Who Make Me Laugh..."

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
~Audrey Hepburn~

This past week-end was a really busy, crazy, entertaining, and fun one for me. I went down to St. Meinrad with a group of friends to visit one of my very best friends who is a seminarian there. There were seven of us all-together who made the drive down. We chose to separate into girls/guys cars and each took a different route down to figure out which one is shorter. My car won, but only by about five minutes (granted the boys car left earlier than ours did and we had to make a stop back at my house because my sister had left her cell phone, and I accidentally took a wrong turn which we figured out pretty quickly, so really taken all that into account we would have made it even longer before the boys did...). It was a fun time driving down there while singing Ke$ha songs at the top of our lungs. It was definitely a girl kind of road trip for sure.

Once we all arrived we headed over to start our visit off with Mass and then ate lunch at Meinrad. We then decided to drive over the the Monastery in Ferdinand, In. where we stayed for a tour. It is sad to see the sisters that live there no longer wear their habits. As the sister who was giving the tour talked about the reasoning behind that choice she used the saying, "It's not about what you wear, but what you do." It was very hard for my friends and I to keep a straight face after she finished that saying because my group of friends happen to believe that the habit is a very important part of being a sister. I have to say that for the most part us younger Catholics prefer seeing nuns and sisters in their habits. I have more respect for the sisters that do because it shows that they really are proud of their vocation and are not afraid to show it. After the tour was over and we were all outside some of my friends joked around about how I should that tour might have fostered some vocations. I laughed and said it most likely caused the exact opposite...

After the tour we headed back to "the hill" wear my friend was the cantor for evening prayer. That was an event for a few of us. We were each handed a breviary to use, only for most of us it was the first time we ever had to use it alone without someone kind of showing us how to use it. That was a learning experience for me and my friend who I was sharing the book with. We got lost a few times, but in the end it worked.

We then had dinner in Tell City at a restaurant which had really great food and then drove over to Bird's Eye where a few of us chose to have ice cream. We then ended the night back at the Unstable on the hill where we had a few drinks, some of someone's birthday cake, played some pool, and shared a pizza. My car left for the drive home a little after midnight. I did not actually get into bed until about 2:30 a.m.. It was a very long but incredibly fun day.

Words Of Wisdom From Fr. Bill

Some things that I believe will impact your potential of growth and success in life:

1. Learn to accept life as it is. Life is hard. You won't get everything you want, but blaming others and being negative is the road to misery.

2. Maintain a positive attitude about life, especially about others. Look for the good in others. Don't waist time looking for people's faults. We all have them.

3. Care for other people. Truly there is no greater road to happiness. A selfish life is a very lonely life.

4. Have a dream, set some goals. Find your purpose. You can change the world just by changing one life.

5. Don't be afraid of hard work, which is another way of saying "give your best." It is truly satisfying.

6. Always have high moral standards for yourself, in particular be honest. Having high standards for your conduct is very freeing. It helps you know what to do in any situation.

7. Develop a relationship with God. There is a restlessness in each of our hearts, and truly it can only be filled by God. Learn that early. A lot of people waste a lot of time chasing after things that they think will fill them - money, prestige, power, achievements. Without God, they are hollow.

Good People, Good Conversations, And Good Food. What More Could A Girl Ask For?

It is so refreshing to me when a group of almost complete strangers happen to come together and once the knowledge of where each one stands as far as their love of God goes end up having some pretty intense or deep conversations. That is just what happened to me today...

Earlier this week a good friend of mine asked me to come with him and some of his other friends to lunch today and it would be his treat. It was a nice surprise and who can turn down free food? Obviously I could not turn down free food, especially after I found out where we were going to lunch; Noodles and Company. Once we were all there it was quickly understood how our friend was buying us all lunch. Really he won a free lunch for him and a group of his friends so he did not have to pay a thing. I felt blessed to be one of the select few invited to this lunch as there were only six of us.

As I sat there with the group I realized the only one I knew very well were two of the people at my group. It was easy to see from the start of our meeting that these people all had a love for God even though not all of us shared the same Catholic faith. I ended up joining in on one conversation as one of the guys at our table was sharing a bit about how his relationship with his girlfriend was going. I always enjoy hearing those kinds of stories... I am kind of girly in that way. He was talking about how he was seriously beginning to think even more seriously about asking this girl to marry him, but there were still things about their relationship he was not sure about. Not bad things, just weather they were really called to be married or if God had other plans for them. There was something he said that really touched me. He said something along the lines of how if God was calling them into marriage he could not wait to see how wonderful their union would help with God's Kingdom. He talked about how he wanted this woman to love God more than him even if that did mean that she ended up feeling called and pulled into another direction other than marriage with him. He also mentioned how he had not told her he loved her. He explained that from the beginning of their relationship he explained to her he would not say "I Love You" unless there was a ring on her finger. My friend and I were impressed by that because as women it is very hard for us not to want to hear those words in a relationship and even harder to be ok with not hearing them. He explained that in his past he had used those words for all the wrong reasons, but now he realized how stupid that was and only wanted to say them when he knew that he would be marrying the person he said it to. He was shocked about the turn of his conversation with all that info as we were for receiving it. Us three had a connection and understanding in that moment as my friend, Stephanie, was expressing everything I was thinking in my head and wanted to say only she beat me to it...

Hearing what he had to say made me think about some things. It affirmed in me about how I feel about my own outlook on what I want a real relationship to be. A relationship with God put first. A relationship where both of us are looking to God and what He wants rather than what we are wanting to be selfish about. What he and his girlfriend are choosing to do is a beautiful example of how I wish more people were in their relationships... It is relationships like this that give me hope.

It is interesting how conversations like that are what stick with a person more than anything else at the end of a day. I hope that whatever happens with this person's relationship will give him peace. I made a new friend even if I will probably never see him again. Who knows, maybe I will....

Boss For A Week

It is Spring Break here in b-town and normally I don't mind it at all because we are usually low in numbers with kids and high in numbers with teachers. This Spring Break; however, the staff is at just the right amount and the kid's are mostly here... My boss is one of the people who chose to leave us for the week along with two of the other people who have worked at the daycare the longest. Because of that fact my boss asked me to step-it-up and take his place for the week.

I am not one to ever have wanted to be the boss; especially of a school or daycare. I am not one for drama, but being in charge of a school or really any business you kind of get pushed into being in the middle of drama. So far it has been smooth sailing for me the past few days. I hope that it continues to be just that as I go through this week.

I have to say that I feel great that my boss has so much faith in my abilities to leave me in charge for the week and I am going to make sure I do all that I can to not let him regret that decision. Wish me luck!

Working On This Whole Trust Thing...

^{Yesterday I took the chance to go to confession. It had been about a month since I had last gone, and although I did not really have too much to say I ended up going for some advice. As I mentioned in a previous post about a interesting moment that happened to me personally on my trip. I was still feeling a bit confused and unsure about what my future. Before I went into confession I prayed to God about what that all meant. I decided to open up the Bible and it opened to this passage:}

^{Philippians 4:6-9}

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

That made me feel a little bit better, but still not fully at peace. I went into confession and told Father my list of sins. He then asked me if there was anything else that was troubling me about my relationship with God. I did not really plan on explaining the story of what happened on my trip, but when he asked me that I knew I had to get it off my chest. He then told me that that sort of thing happens a lot to lots of different people. He said that since this was the first time it had happened to me by a stranger it did not mean I am called as a nun. He told me to just leave it alone for now. If I am called to becoming a nun or sister than there will be more signs to come in my future, but for now to just not think about it at all. I felt an immediate sense of relief hearing that from my priest. For my penance he told me to keep praying to trust God and His plan for me. The more I thought about that penance the more I have realized that I really do need to pray more about trusting God. There have been some other things in my life over the past few years that have made me confused and frustrated about what God has planned for my future. So here's to me REALLY working on being relaxed while God takes the wheel.

Still Gonna Keep Taking It One Step At A Time

While on the March for Life trip I must say that I had a bit of an inner struggle/confusion going on. You see, while waiting for the Vigil Mass to begin I became very friendly with the people who were sitting around me. We were all crammed together like a can of sardines that it is not hard to make a connection with those around you.

One man who I met happened to sit at the very end of the pew that I was leaning on. He and I talked about where we were from (he was from Missouri) and what we liked about our home towns. He was very easy to talk to and I enjoyed my conversation with him. At the end of the Mass as my group was getting ready to go he tapped me on my shoulder and asked me what I was majoring in. I told him early childhood education. He then told me I was a very brave woman. I laughed at that and explained to him how I have been working at a daycare for five years now, so I was pretty sure I knew what I was getting myself into. He then looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I had ever thought about being a nun. I cannot explain why at that moment I felt a feeling of nervousness, but I did. I explained to him how I have prayed about it, but I am pretty sure I am not called to be a nun. He smiled at my answer and I then had to say goodbye to him as my group was leaving him.

A few of my friends over heard this conversation and found it interesting as there has been a running joke of how I will become a nun, I am just in denial. I was hoping they would not spread that story around because I still wanted to process it all in my head, but it did not happen as I wished. The first thing my sister told the group when we met up with everyone was my conversation with this man.

I am completely used to my friends joking around about me becoming a nun. It is nothing new. It has happened for a number of years now, but they make it known to me they are just joking. In fact the majority of the time after they joke about it they always end up telling me they know I will actually become a wonderful mother and have twelve kids. Why it is ALWAYS twelve kids, I have no idea, but it is. I suppose if God chooses to give me twelve I will find a way to handle it, but I really would not mind dealing with no more than five, but beggars cannot be choosers I suppose. I suppose the reason why I was so taken back by this man's comment is because I have never really been told by someone I just met about if I have thought about being a nun.

The next morning I took this to prayer when I went with a small group of friends to a holy hour and Mass. I also had some good conversations with my two seminarien friends. I know that I must keep contemplating and praying about whatever vocation God is calling me to. I am pretty certain I am called to marriage, but until that happens I will work on my relationship with Him now.

"The Perfect Man"

Tonight I spent part of my evening watching the movie, "The Perfect Man." It is very much a chick-flick, but I enjoy the message that comes out of it. For those of you who don't know, the movie is about a a mother and her two daughters. Every time the mother has fallen in love but ended up with a broken heart she would have her family pack-up and move to another town. The mother felt as though if she were not in a relationship with any guy, no matter how much of a loser the guy is, then she was not worth anything. In the end the daughter helps the mother realize how amazing she is and how she does not need another man to make her wonderful. While the mother feels the need to fall in love to feel whole, the daughter is too afraid to let herself get close to anyone because of how she has watched her mother deal with men while growing up. It was an interesting movie to watch.

There are lots of girls who seem to follow in the mother's footsteps and need to always have a boyfriend or they don't feel as if they are worth anything. This is really sad to me to watch happen. Don't get me wrong here having a boyfriend is a nice surprise to have, but us girls should not feel that we need one at ALL times. Really us girls need to have our hearts set on Jesus, because He is the perfect man who will help make us feel whole. Once we focus on Him and what He wants of us than that is what will make each of us feel a true sense of worth. God will bring the right man to us at the right time. Patience is a virtue and when it comes to waiting for that "someone" it is really hard to have, but it will be worth it in the end.

Have You Prayed About Your Vocation Recently???

As I said in my previous post, this week is Vocation Awareness Week. Last night at "holy" hour we talked all about vocations and ways to really go about understanding what God is calling us to do in our lives. There was a panel of three guests, a priest, and then a couple who are engaged to be married this May. It was interesting to really learn each one of their stories. I particularly enjoyed hearing the young woman's story because it helped affirm how I have been discerning God's call in my own life. She never has really spent her time discerning about being called as a nun. Instead each time she has had to make a choice in her life she discerned whether that is what God was wanting her to choose. When it came to becoming engaged she discerned whether she was called to spend the rest of her life with her fiancee. Before she was engaged both her and her boyfriend did a novena for over a month and spent time together going to Mass and in eucharistic adoration to figure out if marriage was what God was calling them too.

I found this story very insightful for myself. Like her, I have not really thought too seriously on becoming a nun. Not that I have totally closed the door on that idea, but right at this moment I have not felt that being a nun or sister is my calling. With every big choice I have I also go to God in prayer about it. I pray a lot before making a decision. The more I sit in prayer with God, the more I feel peace with my life and the direction I am going right now. I know that if and when it comes time in a relationship to think about marriage I want to take this girl's advice. I want to really pray about that with the person I am in a relationship with before a proposal officially happens.

One question that was asked was how to decipher which answers come from God and which ones come from the devil. It is always tricky to figure out. Father said that the more we pray about our vocation then the choice that really fills us with peace and fulfillment is the answer he believes comes from God. The devil will always be there trying to make a person turn away from God's path, but the more we rely on God while spending quality quiet time with Him and talk with a mentor/close family and friends (when I say close, I really mean a select few people who really know YOU best and who you are comfortable sharing yourself with) about the discernment process the more it will help drown out the devil.

After the discussion we spent some time in Eucharistic Adoration which was a perfect way to help digest all that we had listened too.

Vocations Awareness Week 2011

This week happens to be Vocations Awareness Week.... So I have found this great video about ways to discern your vocation...

"11 Step Program For Those Considering Having Children"

My older sister shared this with me, and I found it too good not to pass on. :)

11 Step Program For Those Considering Having Children

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Everyone Has A Role To Play In Life....

Today is the feast of St. Andrew. I have always liked this apostle. He did not really like being in the spot light too much, unlike his older brother, St. Peter. St. Andrew did have some pretty big roles he played in the Gospels. He introduced Peter to Jesus. He also was the one who found the boy with the fish when Jesus fed the hungry crowd. I like St. Andrew because he is a lot like me. He did not need to be the main leader, the one who received all the attention. He was there to help, but did not want to be in charge. I feel the same way. I do not mind hopping on board with things such as retreat leadership teams, teaching confirmation, Bible studies, and even with my own job when I am part of the group. If someone were to ask me to actually be in charge of putting the leadership teams together or be the director of my daycare, I would refuse. I am sure I could do it, but all the pressure that comes with that role adds to much stress to my already hectic life. Each role is equally important in life, and St. Andrew helps remind me that sometimes it can be those who stay in the back ground that deserve some recognition just as the main spokesperson does.

Parenting 101

Tonight I got a little taste of what motherhood is like. I was put in charge of my four nephews ages 10, 9, 7, and 9 months old for the night. I immediately went to pick the three older ones up from their after-care program after work. We came to their home where I made us dinner. After that my mother, who was baby-sitting the baby, dropped him off. I then went to work getting him to bed, feeding him a bottle, and rocked him till he fell asleep. Meanwhile making sure the three older ones were getting their homework done and not killing eachother. After the baby went to sleep the rest of us spent a little bit of time watching t.v. together. Then slowly and surely, I got each of them to all tucked into bed all safe and sound. It has been a hectic day, and finally have a bit of alone time before I hit the bed here.
I am actually happy I got the chance to have all four of the boys to myself. It helped me know that even though parenting will be challenging in many ways, at the end of the day when you look at the kids all sleeping like perfect angels it is all worth it in the end. As much as I enjoy not being a parent at the moment, nights like this make me remember how much I do want to become a mother myself....:)

Days Like This Are My Favorites :)

Today was a wonderful day at work for me. The weather was pretty nice (especially the temperature), the kids were pretty good listeners for the most part, and it was filled with some fun. This morning we took a small field trip to the fire station that is right across the street from where I work. The kids had a blast! They thought they were pretty special when the firemen came out to stop the traffic for us so we could safely cross the street. They sat nicely and were well-behaved as the firemen each took a turn to talk about the importance of fire safety. The children watched as one of the men suited up for them. Their very favorite part was being able to crawl around inside the fire engine. It was an enjoyable time.

Immediately after that we let the kids play in the leaves that have fallen in the ground. They took great joy in burying me and a few of the other teachers in a pile of leaves. We had a leaf fight as well. Let's just say it took awhile for me to pick the leaves from off of my hair. I let the "inner kid" come out of me while chasing the kids around. It is days like these that I enjoy my job the most.

After work I went to Mass as usual, and one of the families from my daycare attended Mass as well. It was so cute because after the two children went to communion with their dad they came over and sat by me till the end of Mass. I was all flattered that they both wanted to spend even more time with me. It was kind of cute.

"Be Still"

Sometimes I ask the question,
"My Lord, is this your will?"
It's then I hear you answer me,
"My Precious Child... be still."

Sometimes I feel frustrated,
Cause I think I know what's best.
It's then I hear you say to me,
"My Busy Child... just rest"

"I know the plans I have for you,
The wondrous things you'll see;
If you can just be patient, Child,
And put your trust in me.

I've plans to draw you closer.
I've plans to help you grow.
There's much I do you cannot see
And much you do not know.

But know this, Child ..... I LOVE YOU.
You are Precious unto Me.
Before I formed you in the womb,
I planned your destiny.

I've something very special
I hope for you to learn.
The gifts I wish to give to you
Are gifts you cannot earn.

They come without a price tag,
But not without a cost;
At Calvary, I gave Myself,
So You would not be lost.

Rest, Child, and do not weary
Of doing what is good.
I promise I'll come back for you
Just like I said I would.

Your name is written on my palm,
I never could forget;
Therefore, do not be discouraged when
My answer is... "Not Yet"

Author Unknown

"Jesus, I Trust In You"

This evening after Mass I knelt down to say a few prayers, as I usually do. I noticed today however that went through these as though I were in a rush. I really had no particular place I needed to be, so I decided to stop and slow down. Whenever I close my prayers after Mass I tend to repeat a few of the same prayers.... "O Sacrament most holy, O Sacrament Divine, all praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine." along with repeating "Jesus I trust in You" a few times as well. Half the time, I admit, I will say those words and not really contemplate on what I am actually saying. It has become a habit for me because that is how my mother taught me to pray at the end of Mass. Growing up I did not understand the magnitude of those five words, "Jesus I trust in You." Oh, it is easy to claim that I trust in Jesus and God, but really it is extremely hard to do.

I am sure I have gone on about this before in one of my previous posts, the difficulty of truly placing all of my trust in God. I tend to fight that. There are a number of things going on in my life right now that I do not fully understand, and the selfish part of me does not want to hand everything over to God and Jesus because I am afraid that what I want is not what God wants. It is silly really to think of it in those terms, because God wants us to be happy in the end. Why fight so hard against what, in the back of my mind I know, will end up being the best for me? I suppose it is human nature. I need to pray even more for the strength to be alright with giving over everything to God. It is scary, but even though it does terrify me, what do I really have to lose?

"Honesty Is Honestly The Hardest Thing"

"Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down. Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now.yeah While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin' the walls we built together tumblin' I still stand here holdin' up the roof cause it's easier than telling the truth."
~Kris Allan~

The above quote hits me pretty hard tonight. I like to pride myself on telling the truth. I do not like lying. It is not something I find very tolerable. However, I have to admit to myself tonight that I am awful about being completely honest with my own self. In fact, if I am honest with myself right now I have to say I have been lying for the past year or so. I thought that if I pretended I was ok with some things that I have had to deal with for over a year, than eventually I would actually be ok with it. I fooled myself for a good while the past couple of months by thinking I really am doing ok. Then a few words are spoken and I fall right back to where I was before.

The only person at fault for the moment over this is myself. I kept my mouth shut probably when I should have been outspoken about the things that were going on in my head. Maybe if I had told a certain person everything I was feeling last Summer I would not be in the predicament I am. I did not do that because I did not want to be selfish. Now I am regretting that decision.

I feel as though I need to let this person know the complete truth, but am I just feeling this way because I am feeling like being selfish now? Or is it because the longer I have kept it in the more I have ended up hurting myself? If I do end up being extremely open and completely honest with this person I am afraid our relationship will not be the same, and I am scared to death of that. This is going to take a lot of thought before I actually put myself out there; put everything out on the line basically.

Love is sacrificing one's personal wants and needs for the wants and needs of the other person. I have to keep this in mind as I make my decision to tell my friend some things I have kept hidden. Really I have to pray about it and bring this to God and hopefully in the near future He will let me know which way is the right way to go. Prayer is what always puts things into the right perspective for me. Here it goes.

"Prayer For Teachers"

Prayer for Teachers

From A Catholic Prayer Book

Heavenly Father, who promised that all those who instruct others in the ways of holiness will shine as stars for all eternity, fill our hearts and minds with true knowledge and the art of teaching. Give us patience and understanding, justice and prudence, humility and fear of the Lord. Grant us wisdom and charity so that with a pure and holy love of God we ourselves may enjoy all these gifts and impart them to our pupils. Teach our children to be obedient to your laws and docile to your inspirations. Let them be instruments of your peace in their homes, in our land, and in the family of nations as becomes children of the sons of God in the Mystical Body of Christ. May the blessings of your sevenfold Gifts be in all who teach and in all who learn through the Holy Spirit who is the Love of the Father and the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.