Sometimes It Is The Simplest Things That Can Make A Difference

I found this photo randomly while online. It makes me wonder how many of these types of signs could indeed make a difference. I also wonder how many people it would impact and who would actually take it seriously when they choose to take one.

I'm A Sanguine/Phlematic (Mostly Sanguine).

This hits way to close to home in so many ways....

Sanguine / Phlegmatic sp

The sanguine-phlegmatic is an extraverted, optimistic, warm individual who readily connects with others and is well-liked by all. His sanguine side makes him creative, enthusiastic, friendly, and inspiring. His phlegmatic side makes him somewhat cautious at times, and also highly sensitive to other people’s moods, emotions, likes and dislikes. He keenly desires harmony in relationships.

He tends to overextend himself in order to meet others’ needs and to personalize any negative criticism (If the boss says, “We are not meeting our quotas,” the sanguine-phlegmatic thinks, “Is he angry at me?” If her best friend says, “I really can’t wear red lipstick,” the sanguine-phlegmatic will think, “She’s trying to tell me that my lipstick looks terrible!”). After all, the sanguine-phlegmatic has a double-dose of feeling; twice-blessed by the tendency to prioritize relationships and harmony.

If you are a sanguine-phlegmatic, most everyone likes you! You are easy-going, creative, fun-loving, enthusiastic, imaginative, caring, generous, flexible, and spontaneous. You are probably considered “emotional” because of your easily aroused feelings, your attentiveness to relationships, and your tender heart. Your weaknesses are superficiality, indecisiveness, disorganization, and procrastination. Often you find it difficult to know exactly how to state what you mean, or how to express yourself logically; this contributes to a tendency to talk more than is needed or to provide more detail than is necessary. In a relationship, you will likely gravitate toward a logical, organized, strong-willed and decisive partner—someone who makes decisions quickly and provides strong moral certitude and structure to your life. You can be easily influenced (which is exacerbated by your tendency to ask others for advice — without thinking it through) and to do what seems “kind” before considering whether it is objectively right. Many sanguine-phlegmatics are drawn to teaching (and parenting), the helping professions, and volunteer works for the Church or for the welfare of society.

You place a high priority on your personal search for meaning and self-identity. The strong need to discover your “true self” will be met by a rich prayer life and a personal relationship with Christ. Your weaknesses probably tend to bother you more than anyone else. For example, you may find yourself blurting out something without thinking, or spending too much time seeking advice only to find yourself more confused than you started, or oversleeping every day this week — despite all the best of intentions. You may find yourself becoming overcommitted because you simply can’t say “no” and have a strong need to be liked/please people. A typical sanguine-phlegmatic trick is to spend too much money shopping or (better yet) dining out with friends, and then to put off balancing the checkbook (too much work, too many other distractions) until it is hopelessly behind. Now you are overwhelmed with everything that has piled up! You may complain half-heartedly, blame circumstances, or go shopping. . . but you may not really make a concerted effort to change.

Holy Saturday - Waiting

Words Of Wisdom From Fr. Bill

Some things that I believe will impact your potential of growth and success in life:

1. Learn to accept life as it is. Life is hard. You won't get everything you want, but blaming others and being negative is the road to misery.

2. Maintain a positive attitude about life, especially about others. Look for the good in others. Don't waist time looking for people's faults. We all have them.

3. Care for other people. Truly there is no greater road to happiness. A selfish life is a very lonely life.

4. Have a dream, set some goals. Find your purpose. You can change the world just by changing one life.

5. Don't be afraid of hard work, which is another way of saying "give your best." It is truly satisfying.

6. Always have high moral standards for yourself, in particular be honest. Having high standards for your conduct is very freeing. It helps you know what to do in any situation.

7. Develop a relationship with God. There is a restlessness in each of our hearts, and truly it can only be filled by God. Learn that early. A lot of people waste a lot of time chasing after things that they think will fill them - money, prestige, power, achievements. Without God, they are hollow.

Good People, Good Conversations, And Good Food. What More Could A Girl Ask For?

It is so refreshing to me when a group of almost complete strangers happen to come together and once the knowledge of where each one stands as far as their love of God goes end up having some pretty intense or deep conversations. That is just what happened to me today...

Earlier this week a good friend of mine asked me to come with him and some of his other friends to lunch today and it would be his treat. It was a nice surprise and who can turn down free food? Obviously I could not turn down free food, especially after I found out where we were going to lunch; Noodles and Company. Once we were all there it was quickly understood how our friend was buying us all lunch. Really he won a free lunch for him and a group of his friends so he did not have to pay a thing. I felt blessed to be one of the select few invited to this lunch as there were only six of us.

As I sat there with the group I realized the only one I knew very well were two of the people at my group. It was easy to see from the start of our meeting that these people all had a love for God even though not all of us shared the same Catholic faith. I ended up joining in on one conversation as one of the guys at our table was sharing a bit about how his relationship with his girlfriend was going. I always enjoy hearing those kinds of stories... I am kind of girly in that way. He was talking about how he was seriously beginning to think even more seriously about asking this girl to marry him, but there were still things about their relationship he was not sure about. Not bad things, just weather they were really called to be married or if God had other plans for them. There was something he said that really touched me. He said something along the lines of how if God was calling them into marriage he could not wait to see how wonderful their union would help with God's Kingdom. He talked about how he wanted this woman to love God more than him even if that did mean that she ended up feeling called and pulled into another direction other than marriage with him. He also mentioned how he had not told her he loved her. He explained that from the beginning of their relationship he explained to her he would not say "I Love You" unless there was a ring on her finger. My friend and I were impressed by that because as women it is very hard for us not to want to hear those words in a relationship and even harder to be ok with not hearing them. He explained that in his past he had used those words for all the wrong reasons, but now he realized how stupid that was and only wanted to say them when he knew that he would be marrying the person he said it to. He was shocked about the turn of his conversation with all that info as we were for receiving it. Us three had a connection and understanding in that moment as my friend, Stephanie, was expressing everything I was thinking in my head and wanted to say only she beat me to it...

Hearing what he had to say made me think about some things. It affirmed in me about how I feel about my own outlook on what I want a real relationship to be. A relationship with God put first. A relationship where both of us are looking to God and what He wants rather than what we are wanting to be selfish about. What he and his girlfriend are choosing to do is a beautiful example of how I wish more people were in their relationships... It is relationships like this that give me hope.

It is interesting how conversations like that are what stick with a person more than anything else at the end of a day. I hope that whatever happens with this person's relationship will give him peace. I made a new friend even if I will probably never see him again. Who knows, maybe I will....

And So It Begins....

Lent that is.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the very first day of Lent. I have decided to join a health program very much like weight watchers for Lent. I chose to do this because even though I am not totally overweight, I am not where I should be either. I also chose to do this because it will make me more aware of what I have been putting into my body versus what I really should be putting into my body, as well as the best ways to work-out. It is a lifestyle change for me that I fully intend on keeping up after Lent. To me that is what Lent should be about. Choosing to give up something or do something that will change a person for the better. Doing this will help me keep my body healthy so that I will be able to do my best as I go and follow what God's plan for my life is.

Today while at work, one of my co-workers who is not Catholic was asking me all about Ash Wednesday. She did not really understand the meaning behind receiving ashes. Growing up she was told that Catholics do it to show-off... I had to explain to her that really is the wrong reason why we receive ashes on the forehead. Receiving the ashes is more of a humbling experience. It is not about trying to be "better" than other people. It symbolizes that we are sinners and and in need of conversion... She was more understanding of my answer and happy to hear that it is not supposed to be a showy event. It was a very good conversation.

The Best Verse In The Bible....

Psalm 46:10
'Be Still and Know that I AM GOD'

Sometimes this can be easier said then done.....

Working On This Whole Trust Thing...

^{Yesterday I took the chance to go to confession. It had been about a month since I had last gone, and although I did not really have too much to say I ended up going for some advice. As I mentioned in a previous post about a interesting moment that happened to me personally on my trip. I was still feeling a bit confused and unsure about what my future. Before I went into confession I prayed to God about what that all meant. I decided to open up the Bible and it opened to this passage:}

^{Philippians 4:6-9}

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

That made me feel a little bit better, but still not fully at peace. I went into confession and told Father my list of sins. He then asked me if there was anything else that was troubling me about my relationship with God. I did not really plan on explaining the story of what happened on my trip, but when he asked me that I knew I had to get it off my chest. He then told me that that sort of thing happens a lot to lots of different people. He said that since this was the first time it had happened to me by a stranger it did not mean I am called as a nun. He told me to just leave it alone for now. If I am called to becoming a nun or sister than there will be more signs to come in my future, but for now to just not think about it at all. I felt an immediate sense of relief hearing that from my priest. For my penance he told me to keep praying to trust God and His plan for me. The more I thought about that penance the more I have realized that I really do need to pray more about trusting God. There have been some other things in my life over the past few years that have made me confused and frustrated about what God has planned for my future. So here's to me REALLY working on being relaxed while God takes the wheel.

"Be Still And Know I Am God"

Psalm 46

1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Still Gonna Keep Taking It One Step At A Time

While on the March for Life trip I must say that I had a bit of an inner struggle/confusion going on. You see, while waiting for the Vigil Mass to begin I became very friendly with the people who were sitting around me. We were all crammed together like a can of sardines that it is not hard to make a connection with those around you.

One man who I met happened to sit at the very end of the pew that I was leaning on. He and I talked about where we were from (he was from Missouri) and what we liked about our home towns. He was very easy to talk to and I enjoyed my conversation with him. At the end of the Mass as my group was getting ready to go he tapped me on my shoulder and asked me what I was majoring in. I told him early childhood education. He then told me I was a very brave woman. I laughed at that and explained to him how I have been working at a daycare for five years now, so I was pretty sure I knew what I was getting myself into. He then looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I had ever thought about being a nun. I cannot explain why at that moment I felt a feeling of nervousness, but I did. I explained to him how I have prayed about it, but I am pretty sure I am not called to be a nun. He smiled at my answer and I then had to say goodbye to him as my group was leaving him.

A few of my friends over heard this conversation and found it interesting as there has been a running joke of how I will become a nun, I am just in denial. I was hoping they would not spread that story around because I still wanted to process it all in my head, but it did not happen as I wished. The first thing my sister told the group when we met up with everyone was my conversation with this man.

I am completely used to my friends joking around about me becoming a nun. It is nothing new. It has happened for a number of years now, but they make it known to me they are just joking. In fact the majority of the time after they joke about it they always end up telling me they know I will actually become a wonderful mother and have twelve kids. Why it is ALWAYS twelve kids, I have no idea, but it is. I suppose if God chooses to give me twelve I will find a way to handle it, but I really would not mind dealing with no more than five, but beggars cannot be choosers I suppose. I suppose the reason why I was so taken back by this man's comment is because I have never really been told by someone I just met about if I have thought about being a nun.

The next morning I took this to prayer when I went with a small group of friends to a holy hour and Mass. I also had some good conversations with my two seminarien friends. I know that I must keep contemplating and praying about whatever vocation God is calling me to. I am pretty certain I am called to marriage, but until that happens I will work on my relationship with Him now.

"The Perfect Man"

Tonight I spent part of my evening watching the movie, "The Perfect Man." It is very much a chick-flick, but I enjoy the message that comes out of it. For those of you who don't know, the movie is about a a mother and her two daughters. Every time the mother has fallen in love but ended up with a broken heart she would have her family pack-up and move to another town. The mother felt as though if she were not in a relationship with any guy, no matter how much of a loser the guy is, then she was not worth anything. In the end the daughter helps the mother realize how amazing she is and how she does not need another man to make her wonderful. While the mother feels the need to fall in love to feel whole, the daughter is too afraid to let herself get close to anyone because of how she has watched her mother deal with men while growing up. It was an interesting movie to watch.

There are lots of girls who seem to follow in the mother's footsteps and need to always have a boyfriend or they don't feel as if they are worth anything. This is really sad to me to watch happen. Don't get me wrong here having a boyfriend is a nice surprise to have, but us girls should not feel that we need one at ALL times. Really us girls need to have our hearts set on Jesus, because He is the perfect man who will help make us feel whole. Once we focus on Him and what He wants of us than that is what will make each of us feel a true sense of worth. God will bring the right man to us at the right time. Patience is a virtue and when it comes to waiting for that "someone" it is really hard to have, but it will be worth it in the end.

Have You Prayed About Your Vocation Recently???

As I said in my previous post, this week is Vocation Awareness Week. Last night at "holy" hour we talked all about vocations and ways to really go about understanding what God is calling us to do in our lives. There was a panel of three guests, a priest, and then a couple who are engaged to be married this May. It was interesting to really learn each one of their stories. I particularly enjoyed hearing the young woman's story because it helped affirm how I have been discerning God's call in my own life. She never has really spent her time discerning about being called as a nun. Instead each time she has had to make a choice in her life she discerned whether that is what God was wanting her to choose. When it came to becoming engaged she discerned whether she was called to spend the rest of her life with her fiancee. Before she was engaged both her and her boyfriend did a novena for over a month and spent time together going to Mass and in eucharistic adoration to figure out if marriage was what God was calling them too.

I found this story very insightful for myself. Like her, I have not really thought too seriously on becoming a nun. Not that I have totally closed the door on that idea, but right at this moment I have not felt that being a nun or sister is my calling. With every big choice I have I also go to God in prayer about it. I pray a lot before making a decision. The more I sit in prayer with God, the more I feel peace with my life and the direction I am going right now. I know that if and when it comes time in a relationship to think about marriage I want to take this girl's advice. I want to really pray about that with the person I am in a relationship with before a proposal officially happens.

One question that was asked was how to decipher which answers come from God and which ones come from the devil. It is always tricky to figure out. Father said that the more we pray about our vocation then the choice that really fills us with peace and fulfillment is the answer he believes comes from God. The devil will always be there trying to make a person turn away from God's path, but the more we rely on God while spending quality quiet time with Him and talk with a mentor/close family and friends (when I say close, I really mean a select few people who really know YOU best and who you are comfortable sharing yourself with) about the discernment process the more it will help drown out the devil.

After the discussion we spent some time in Eucharistic Adoration which was a perfect way to help digest all that we had listened too.

Vocations Awareness Week 2011

This week happens to be Vocations Awareness Week.... So I have found this great video about ways to discern your vocation...

"11 Step Program For Those Considering Having Children"

My older sister shared this with me, and I found it too good not to pass on. :)

11 Step Program For Those Considering Having Children

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Parenting 101

Tonight I got a little taste of what motherhood is like. I was put in charge of my four nephews ages 10, 9, 7, and 9 months old for the night. I immediately went to pick the three older ones up from their after-care program after work. We came to their home where I made us dinner. After that my mother, who was baby-sitting the baby, dropped him off. I then went to work getting him to bed, feeding him a bottle, and rocked him till he fell asleep. Meanwhile making sure the three older ones were getting their homework done and not killing eachother. After the baby went to sleep the rest of us spent a little bit of time watching t.v. together. Then slowly and surely, I got each of them to all tucked into bed all safe and sound. It has been a hectic day, and finally have a bit of alone time before I hit the bed here.
I am actually happy I got the chance to have all four of the boys to myself. It helped me know that even though parenting will be challenging in many ways, at the end of the day when you look at the kids all sleeping like perfect angels it is all worth it in the end. As much as I enjoy not being a parent at the moment, nights like this make me remember how much I do want to become a mother myself....:)

Fighting To Keep Childhood Innocence

This past week it seems as though the majority of the conversations I have held with my friends have all at one point or another focused mainly on sex. What I mean by that is we have discussed how sad it is that the kids nowadays are becoming sexually mature at an early age. Just this evening one of my friends was telling me how an eleven year old she knew of in her hometown had become pregnant. Eleven years old. It completely shocked me. Thinking back to age eleven I was just beginning to kind of notice boys. Sex completely grossed me out. Most of my friends have all agreed with this being how it was for them as well. It seems to me that children are growing up way earlier than they need to.

I became even more curious about how serious this may be down the road for the future of these kids. Apparently in one public middle school they handed out a sex survey which was very detailed. You are welcome to read more about that if you click here. I am very saddened to hear that such a detailed sex survey is being handed to seventh graders. I am not a parent, but I am pretty sure if I was a parent of a child at that school I would be furious. There is a study that has been going on with this age group which you can read about by looking here. Obviously there is a huge factor in this study which I do not agree with, and that is pushing more condoms into Middle schools. I do not think that will fix this issue... In fact that just tells them that having sex that young is ok.

Here are some more facts I have found:

Nearly half (46%) of all 15–19-year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once.

By age 15, only 13% of never-married teens have ever had sex. However, by the time they reach age 19, seven in 10 never-married teens have engaged in sexual intercourse.

Twenty-one states and the District of Columbia explicitly allow all minors to consent to contraceptive services without a parent's involvement (as of January 2010). Two states (Texas and Utah) require parental consent for contraceptive services in state-funded family planning programs

Of the 18.9 million new cases of STIs each year, 9.1 million (48%) occur among 15–24-year-olds.

Although 15–24-year-olds represent only one-quarter of the sexually active population, they account for nearly half of all new STIs each year

Each year, almost 750,000 women aged 15–19 become pregnant.

Ten percent of all U.S. births are to teens

1 out of 5 people will have an std withing the next few years.

These are only a few statistics and if I had more time tonight to really look for more I would. This is enough for me to read and know something is not working right when it comes to our kids.

Sometimes I wish I was born in a different century when everyone cared strongly about their reputations and how other people viewed them. Sex was supposed to be for marriage, as it should be today. All I can keep doing is working on being the best role model I can for the kids I am around. I want to be held accountable because I do know I have quite a few people who do look up to me. With lots of prayer and focus on my goal I am pretty sure I will not go wrong. I know, that is much easier said than done.

It's About How God Sees Us

"Who you are has nothing to do with the clothes you wear or the car you drive... Heaven does not know you as the fellow with the nice suit or the woman with the big house or the kid with the new bike. heaven knows your heart... When God thinks of you, He may see your compassion, your devotion, your tenderness or quick mind, but He doesn't think of your things... And when you think of you, you shouldn't either."
~Max Lucado~

"Be Still"

Sometimes I ask the question,
"My Lord, is this your will?"
It's then I hear you answer me,
"My Precious Child... be still."

Sometimes I feel frustrated,
Cause I think I know what's best.
It's then I hear you say to me,
"My Busy Child... just rest"

"I know the plans I have for you,
The wondrous things you'll see;
If you can just be patient, Child,
And put your trust in me.

I've plans to draw you closer.
I've plans to help you grow.
There's much I do you cannot see
And much you do not know.

But know this, Child ..... I LOVE YOU.
You are Precious unto Me.
Before I formed you in the womb,
I planned your destiny.

I've something very special
I hope for you to learn.
The gifts I wish to give to you
Are gifts you cannot earn.

They come without a price tag,
But not without a cost;
At Calvary, I gave Myself,
So You would not be lost.

Rest, Child, and do not weary
Of doing what is good.
I promise I'll come back for you
Just like I said I would.

Your name is written on my palm,
I never could forget;
Therefore, do not be discouraged when
My answer is... "Not Yet"

Author Unknown

"Jesus, I Trust In You"

This evening after Mass I knelt down to say a few prayers, as I usually do. I noticed today however that went through these as though I were in a rush. I really had no particular place I needed to be, so I decided to stop and slow down. Whenever I close my prayers after Mass I tend to repeat a few of the same prayers.... "O Sacrament most holy, O Sacrament Divine, all praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine." along with repeating "Jesus I trust in You" a few times as well. Half the time, I admit, I will say those words and not really contemplate on what I am actually saying. It has become a habit for me because that is how my mother taught me to pray at the end of Mass. Growing up I did not understand the magnitude of those five words, "Jesus I trust in You." Oh, it is easy to claim that I trust in Jesus and God, but really it is extremely hard to do.

I am sure I have gone on about this before in one of my previous posts, the difficulty of truly placing all of my trust in God. I tend to fight that. There are a number of things going on in my life right now that I do not fully understand, and the selfish part of me does not want to hand everything over to God and Jesus because I am afraid that what I want is not what God wants. It is silly really to think of it in those terms, because God wants us to be happy in the end. Why fight so hard against what, in the back of my mind I know, will end up being the best for me? I suppose it is human nature. I need to pray even more for the strength to be alright with giving over everything to God. It is scary, but even though it does terrify me, what do I really have to lose?

"What About Now?"

This past Sunday was an eventful one for me. I was even more excited because it was the day of the first meeting for another retreat leadership team I am on... Surprise, surprise. Me helping lead another retreat. It is another Antioch retreat, which is a week-end long retreat for high schoolers. Right now our leadership team is rather small, which makes me somewhat worried, but even with that small amount I feel as though somehow it will all come together. I am praying for a few more people to volunteer to help-out so as to take the load off of all of us having to give two talks each.

This year I volunteered to give probably the most challenging talk I have personally ever given. It is the confession talk. I will be getting into some interesting things in this talk, some very personal things. It will be difficult because I try to avoid talking about these things just because I am not like the person I once was in a lot of ways. It is also intimidating because I have to make confession seem not so awkward to go to... I personally like going to confession now, but I do remember a time when I hated it. I am sure a few of the retreatants will feel that same way, so I have to kind of do a "promo" talk about confession. I think I am up to this challenge.



This year's theme song will be,
"What About Now?"
by Daughtry...

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

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