Working On This Whole Trust Thing...

^{Yesterday I took the chance to go to confession. It had been about a month since I had last gone, and although I did not really have too much to say I ended up going for some advice. As I mentioned in a previous post about a interesting moment that happened to me personally on my trip. I was still feeling a bit confused and unsure about what my future. Before I went into confession I prayed to God about what that all meant. I decided to open up the Bible and it opened to this passage:}

^{Philippians 4:6-9}

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

That made me feel a little bit better, but still not fully at peace. I went into confession and told Father my list of sins. He then asked me if there was anything else that was troubling me about my relationship with God. I did not really plan on explaining the story of what happened on my trip, but when he asked me that I knew I had to get it off my chest. He then told me that that sort of thing happens a lot to lots of different people. He said that since this was the first time it had happened to me by a stranger it did not mean I am called as a nun. He told me to just leave it alone for now. If I am called to becoming a nun or sister than there will be more signs to come in my future, but for now to just not think about it at all. I felt an immediate sense of relief hearing that from my priest. For my penance he told me to keep praying to trust God and His plan for me. The more I thought about that penance the more I have realized that I really do need to pray more about trusting God. There have been some other things in my life over the past few years that have made me confused and frustrated about what God has planned for my future. So here's to me REALLY working on being relaxed while God takes the wheel.

I Am Proud To Be Catholic!

I had a blast on my March For Life trip. There were so many fun and happy and great moments, but there were also a few not so high moments. I want to share a story of one of those not so great moments... The day of the march happens to be the only day the seminariens from St. Meinrad are allowed to wear collars. Our two seminarien friends were very excited to wear theirs. It was a fun time for them as they were enjoying random strangers calling them "Father." There was one instance though that was not so high. As we were walking after the march to find a less crowded metro station we crossed paths with a man who judged my two friends by the collar they were wearing... judging the whole priesthood really. You see, this man made a very rude comment to my friends as he walked by us. He said very loudly and clearly, "Pedophiles for Christ!" I was very offended by that comment, and I am sure my two friends were even more so. It is frustrating to think that people still have those feelings towards the Church. I received an e-mail from a friend today, and it fits perfectly to this issue. It is actually by a Jewish Rabbi which makes it even more powerful to me.

Excerpts of an article written by non-Catholic Sam Miller - a prominent Cleveland Jewish businessman:

"Why would newspapers carry on a vendetta on one of the most important institutions that we have today in the United States, namely the Catholic Church?

Do you know - the Catholic Church educates 2.6 million students everyday at the cost to that Church of 10 billion dollars, and a savings on the other hand to the American taxpayer of 18 billion dollars. The graduates go on to graduate studies at the rate of 92%.

The Church has 230 colleges and universities in the U.S. with an enrollment of 700,000 students..

The Catholic Church has a non-profit hospital system of 637 hospitals, which account for hospital treatment of 1 out of every 5 people - not just Catholics - in the United States today.

But the press is vindictive and trying to totally denigrate in every way the Catholic Church in this country. They have blamed the disease of pedophilia on the Catholic Church, which is as irresponsible as blaming adultery on the institution of marriage.

Let me give you some figures that Catholics should know and remember. For example, 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact in a study by the United Methodist Church , 41.8% of clergy women reported unwanted sexual behavior; 17% of laywomen have been sexually harassed.

Meanwhile, 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia. 10% of the Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia. This is not a Catholic Problem.

A study of American priests showed that most are happy in the priesthood and find it even better than they had expected, and that most, if given the choice, would choose to be priests again in face of all this obnoxious PR the church has been receiving.
The Catholic Church is bleeding from self-inflicted wounds. The agony that Catholics have felt and suffered is not necessarily the fault of the Church. You have been hurt by a small number of wayward priests that have probably been totally weeded out by now.

Walk with your shoulders high and you head higher. Be a proud member of the most important non-governmental agency in the United States .

Then remember what Jeremiah said: 'Stand by the roads, and look and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it, and find rest for your souls'. Be proud to speak up for your faith with pride and reverence and learn what your Church does for all other religions.

Memorable Moments Captured On Film From My Trip

I am happy to say that I have recovered my photos. It was by accident, but I have them back... From top to bottom...

The first picture is of my sister, my great friend, and myself. We grew up together and so our friend is like a brother to us. Can you say family photo time???

The second photo is just one of the many shots I took of the crowd at the March. Being so short I could not get a great one, but this one was pretty good.

The third one is of my sister and I and two friends who came along with us on the trip... They are seminariens. I happened to be in the car with them for the trip to d.c. and home. Good times. :)

The forth one is of me and my friend. We stayed at her family's home. I was so happy to be able to see her and spend some time with her. I missed her a great deal. She is planning on becoming a nun as soon as she pays her school debts off. :)

The fifth one basically shows our view from where we were sitting for the Vigil Mass at the Basillica.. They were really great seats. :)

The sixth one is of Newt Gingrich! After I took his picture he waved at me. It was kinda cool.

The seventh one is of my sister and our two good friends while we were saving our seats for our group. They are sisters too. :)

The eighth one is of the view from behind where we were sitting for Mass at the National Basillica...And that is not counting all the people sitting in the adjoining chapels and to the sides of us....10,000 people were there for this Mass.

The ninth one is my personal favorite moment I captured on film. Among the craziness in the basillica, my sister and I passed by this chapel. It was the only one with just one person in it. It was a holy moment... I had to get it on film. It was too touching not too. I have no clue who the man is that was praying....

The bottom one is of the National Basillica. Both my younger sister and I said we felt like we were at home as soon as we walked up to this place. We have been there so many times now that we know where to find everything. It was nice to know that the place that made me feel like home is the Catholic church.

"There's No Place Like Home. There's No Place Like Home. There's No Place Like Home..."

I must admit that since my trip was so much fun, coming home and getting back into my normal routine has not been so easy. This morning when I woke-up was the first morning in the past week that I have not wished for a few more hours of sleep. I think my sleeping schedule is finally getting back to normal after my crazy week of traveling and working. I feel like I have not stopped moving. Even tomorrow I will have a little bit of sleep-in time, but I am meeting a friend to take a zumba class together before noon...

I find a sense of peace when I am working-out. Just keeping my mind on breathing at a good pace and keeping moving is so much simpler for me to do right now. I tend to pray a lot while working out, especially when I am jogging. It keeps my mind off the pain I am pushing myself through and so it is easier to win the mind-over-body game that happens while running/kick-boxing/pilates. Getting back into my exercise routine was the easiest part of coming home. I missed being able to push myself while on the trip. We had such a packed schedule that there was not much room when it came to working-out. I took advantage of Monday afternoon when we went in search of a less crowded metro station. We walked a ways and I did not feel guilty about missing my work-out that day.

I have to say being welcomed back with loud excited screams by the kids was my favorite part of the day. Each of them kept saying how they missed me, and I received lots of hugs and kisses from them. One little girl came and whispered in my ear "Miss Teresa, you're the best." How can a girl not eat that comment up? Moments like these are blessings in a crazy work-day. I do not take them for granted, but thank God for them everyday. :)

I went to Mass yesterday and was greeted with questions from friends about how my trip went and being told they were all praying for me. I did not know some of these people even knew about my planned trip to d.c.. It was just another reminder that I was home and surrounded by people who care about me. As nice as it was to get away from my hometown for awhile, there is nothing like returning home and knowing people are here waiting for me.

"Be Still And Know I Am God"

Psalm 46

1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

A Local Youth Group From My Home Town On News About March...

St. John's youth group being interviewed about the March for Life. The young girl who speaks happens to have been part of my homeschool group during my senior year of high school. I am so proud of this. :)

Still Gonna Keep Taking It One Step At A Time

While on the March for Life trip I must say that I had a bit of an inner struggle/confusion going on. You see, while waiting for the Vigil Mass to begin I became very friendly with the people who were sitting around me. We were all crammed together like a can of sardines that it is not hard to make a connection with those around you.

One man who I met happened to sit at the very end of the pew that I was leaning on. He and I talked about where we were from (he was from Missouri) and what we liked about our home towns. He was very easy to talk to and I enjoyed my conversation with him. At the end of the Mass as my group was getting ready to go he tapped me on my shoulder and asked me what I was majoring in. I told him early childhood education. He then told me I was a very brave woman. I laughed at that and explained to him how I have been working at a daycare for five years now, so I was pretty sure I knew what I was getting myself into. He then looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I had ever thought about being a nun. I cannot explain why at that moment I felt a feeling of nervousness, but I did. I explained to him how I have prayed about it, but I am pretty sure I am not called to be a nun. He smiled at my answer and I then had to say goodbye to him as my group was leaving him.

A few of my friends over heard this conversation and found it interesting as there has been a running joke of how I will become a nun, I am just in denial. I was hoping they would not spread that story around because I still wanted to process it all in my head, but it did not happen as I wished. The first thing my sister told the group when we met up with everyone was my conversation with this man.

I am completely used to my friends joking around about me becoming a nun. It is nothing new. It has happened for a number of years now, but they make it known to me they are just joking. In fact the majority of the time after they joke about it they always end up telling me they know I will actually become a wonderful mother and have twelve kids. Why it is ALWAYS twelve kids, I have no idea, but it is. I suppose if God chooses to give me twelve I will find a way to handle it, but I really would not mind dealing with no more than five, but beggars cannot be choosers I suppose. I suppose the reason why I was so taken back by this man's comment is because I have never really been told by someone I just met about if I have thought about being a nun.

The next morning I took this to prayer when I went with a small group of friends to a holy hour and Mass. I also had some good conversations with my two seminarien friends. I know that I must keep contemplating and praying about whatever vocation God is calling me to. I am pretty certain I am called to marriage, but until that happens I will work on my relationship with Him now.