This past week has been a very intense week for me filled with fear, frustration, hurt, exhaustion.. along with those though I have to say I have also felt loved, safe, and special. I would like to go into all the details of why it has been that kinda week, but it is just too personal to put here. Let's just say an incident occured which really made me take a step back and look at myself. Kind of a soul-searching week I guess you could say.
Sometimes it is good to get knocked off a high horse to remember why you were on it in the first place. Was what I did right? Was I so focused on me that I forgot to think about another person's feelings? I still do not think I have done a despicable act, as an old friend seems to think I did, but I did not handle my situation in the best way either I suppose.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people tend to think a certain way about another person, and no matter how much time passes and how much a person can change, those people will never change their idea of how they first viewed that person. I think that is sad. Yes, some people may never change, but if you do not give them the benefit of the doubt then after awhile that person will probablt just do what is expected of them.
It is also interesting to me how you have friends you have known for years, decades even, and yet they really know nothing about you. Then you have the friends you have been close too for only a few years, or months even, and they know exactly when something is not right just by looking into your eyes. I would love to be as close to my old friends as I am now with my new ones, but it is hard when the friendship is more one sided. There is saying that I have heard, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." Maybe these old friends of mine were supposed to be part of my life for a season. I think it is about time I pray for them, but let them be.