I have a lot still to learn. Then again, I feel as though everyone always will have a lot to learn. Learning is something that should never cease. These days I have realized that I need to learn more about forgiveness.
Holding grudges... I suppose really thinking about it, yes I can hold them. I do not hold too many, but sometimes when someone I have been so close too does something so hurtful it can be hard to let it go... What's that saying? "Forgive, but don't forget." Now thinking about it, that saying is so contradictory. If you truly are forgiving someone then that means you need to forget it happened. Put the past in the past. It is much easier said then done.
Growing up I always considered myself pretty good at forgiving. Then again, I have never really had too much that was hard to forgive. I mean there is the usual, rumors being said about me, friends who are so close one day, and then for whatever reason the next day turn into people who hardly ever want to hang-around me, little things like that. Sure they stung a little bit, but nothing that I ever thought could be unforgivable.
Then again, I am no saint by any means. I am sure I have hurt some people in my past as well. I am sure I have even done it without realizing I did any damage. Even just yesterday I said a pretty hurtful thing about someone, and it really was not called for, but I said it. I definitely learned my lesson from it.
It is hard though when I do end up coming face to face with someone that I love dearly and really forgive them. It is even more hard when they act like they have done nothing that needs forgiven. When they make me even more hurt because they think I am the one that is acting crazy for being hurt. I know what I should do, but it is not something I really want to do. That is something I need to learn to do. Forgive even when it hurts...
1 comment:
Forgiving is cleansing...I need to be reminded of this over and over and you will surely have to remind me of it again and probably again. It can be frustrating to say the least. I think when it is someone close to us..the element of worry is in there too, esp. when it is about someone's future and will they continue to try to fool themselves and others, only to hurt again..we don't know and so that is a part of it..I am sure you'd agree. You are mostly a very very forgiving person and I am so proud of you. I know you won't take that to your head too much if I ask you not to. :) Still, it IS important to not get into "doormatism" and so just keep that in mind..forgiving is for us too and enabling is something entirely different. In a calm loving way, you seek not to enable someone into the wrong things..don't let that part go..it is still quite important. Forgiving is allows you to be more at peace with yourself..the kind of person you want to feel like.
Thanks for sharing this writing and I appreciate it as difficult as it is to think on. Peace of Jesus and Mary..their sweet peace remain in your heart. I love you. :)
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