"Lexie: [narrating] Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.
Mark: It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change.
Alex: And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
Izzie: That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive.
Derek: By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.
Bailey: Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
Owen: So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
Meredith: The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it.
Arizona: The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
Callie: And let it go when we can.
Meredith: The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again.
Cristina: And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
Meredith: There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Alex: Denial.
Derek: Anger.
Bailey: Bargaining.
Lexie: Depression.
Richard: Acceptance."
~Grey's Anatomy~
Thinking about the above quote makes me think about how true it really is..... The whole stages of grief thing.
Denial - that initial response when you are told something that happens to be the last thing you want to hear is what you can't change.... When someone you love dies, whether it happened suddenly or not, it is still something that is hard to believe... Being told by your significant other that they can no longer care for you the same anymore and are ready to break things off even though you think that everything is all perfect... you don't want to believe that that relationship is truly over...Being told that you are laid off from a job... denial is the first thing that comes to mind...That moment when you realize that you lost your child... whether it is when you just turned your back for a minute and turn around and that child is no longer there or your teenager goes out for a bike ride and does not return... When you are told your parents are getting a divorce.... You always think no this really is not happening to me. It is something that happens to someone else, not to me...
Anger - the next stage. The one when you kind of want to hate the world for the horrible thing that happened to you. You fume inside. You are so frustrated and upset and confused as to why God allowed it to happen to you. You get even more annoyed and frustrated and aggravated when no one can give you the answers you want to hear.
Bargaining - After awhile that anger slowly dies away and in it's place is the idea that maybe you can find a way to work things out. You beg for a second chance. You beg to see that loved one's face one more time and then you will be okay. You fight to the bitter end to find a way to have that relationship back, or to see that child that had been abducted once more. The anger may be gone, but the hope that you can still get what you once had back is still very much alive.
Depression - This is what you go through after you realize that you really and truly are not going to get what you want back. You finally do realize that that person will never come back.... your parents will never get back together... your ex really has moved on and is happy without you... You get in this mode where you lost hope finally and you go into depression. You don't want to go anywhere, do anything. All you want to do is hide yourself under the covers and stuff yourself with mindless junk food while watching re-runs of whatever sappy tv show happens to reflect the closest to what you are feeling inside... and you have no energy to work-out or even try to fake being happy... It is the hardest stage of all I think when it comes to getting over something that was a huge part of your life...
Acceptance - The last stage when you come to terms with yourself that that part of your life is over... It is the time when you realize that you have to move on. You have to find something to help fill the empty feeling that the previous person once filled up. You force yourself to keep busy in the hope that it will bring you one day closer to truly being over the loss of that person.... You realize that you will not ever forget how that person made you feel and one day it will be easier to think back and smile, but for now you find something else you love to do and do it....
The five stages of grief... the more I pondered on them and the above quote, the more I thought about how it feels when you have realized you will be okay without that person. It is a different kind of feeling. It still hurts, but no where near how it did before... Why I decided to even write about these stages tonight is because for the first time this morning when I first woke up, I did not think about the one thing that has been frustrating me... and it didn't hit me that I hadn't thought about it until maybe thirty minutes later, and the moment I realized that a part of me ached... it was sharp, but it went by pretty fast... and ever since then that quote has been on my mind... "The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away."
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