Monday, December 21, 2009

Who I Aim to Be

In my family I have somehow been labelled the "good kid" the "perfect daughter" and other things similar to that, and I have to say deep down I cannot stand being told that. All my siblings seem to think that I strive to be my parent's favorite kid, but the truth is I don't work for that.
I think it is because that I happen to be the daughter that does cause my siblings to think about some of their actions before they do them, and I do not think that they always like me for it, but after awhile they will come and tell me they appreciate me for giving them my honest opinion. I just don't want them to get themselves into trouble, and yet I know they have to make their own mistakes too... I don't consider that me trying to be a "perfect" kid in any way. It's just me trying to be a good sister.

The person that I am, and the person that I always strive to be, is someone who loves my faith and all that it means to be Catholic. I work hard to be someone people can trust. Someone they can come to if they have found themselves in a hard place. Someone that will give an honest opinion about a situation, even if it is not always the most popular opinion. I want to be known as a person who knows how to stand up for what they believe in. Someone who can help brighten up a person's day when they are feeling kinda down. I aim to be a good student and someone that does not always get into trouble. I try to set a good and positive example for the younger people around me who I take care of at work, and help mentor in confirmation classes, along with those people I think of as my adopted younger "siblings." I try to think about how my actions will affect those around me, and if I know that it will cause real pain to a person that I love dearly then I will not do it. None of this is because I want to be thought of as better then my siblings. I aim to do this because being this kind of person makes me happy. I enjoy being there for my friends and family... my aim was never to do this in hopes that I would be a "favorite" or to set some incredibly high standard for people to reach... because I still feel as though I am far from perfect....

Sometimes being the shoulder to cry on for everyone gets tiring. There are times when it just gets to overwhelming, and at those times I do have to just take a step back and take a break. I also realize that sometimes I place high expectations for some people, and when something happens and those people don't meet those expectations I get thrown for a loop, and I am reminded that everyone should not be held to the expectations I have for them. It is not fair to them, and it is not right for me to think I can do that... I have to remember that everyone is "Made entirely of flaws stiched together with perfectly good intentions." I always seem to second guess myself about choices I have made or am in the process of making. I can sometimes talk over people when we are in a group and I am sure people find that really annoying, and I can't explain why I do that, I just do. I procrastinate all the time. I can be very selfish when it comes to spending time with people, and I have to fight being that way all the time... ofcourse these are just some of the annoying habbits... I am sure there are more....

So as you can tell I am not a perfect person... no one is... but we should all strive to do the best we can so when we leave this world, hopefully it will be a better place then when we entered it.

1 comment:

Suzanne said...
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