"The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth."
~Unknown~
To me the worst thing that a friend could do is lie to me with a straight face. Just like the quote above says, the worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you were not worth the truth. I do not get lied to very often, thankfully, but when it does happen it is not a good feeling to find out. What is worse is when I find out from other friends that I was lied to. It's one of the worst feelings. I think that the most important part of a relationship, any relationship, romantic or friendly, has to have a strong foundation of trust to it. There has to be for people to feel comfortable opening up to one another and letting their inner thoughts and feelings out. When you think you are so close to someone, and trust them completely, and then find out that they have been lying to your face for the past few months, well it leaves a person confused and hurt as to why they could not have told you the truth to begin with... I am pretty good at letting things stay in the past once I have made up with a friend... I usually forgive and forget really easily... I don't like holding grudges, but it is hard for me to trust someone who has lied about something huge... I am not talking about little things, but big ones. I guess it is because I am such a loyal person and if someone wants to ask me something personal and important, I will tell them the honest truth. That's just how I am, and in the back of my mind I always thought that if I work hard to be that kind of friend then I would get that back in return... I guess in a lot of ways I wear my heart on my sleeve, and so when someone does lie it just takes me back...It sucks big time. It damages the relationship, and once it happens in the back of my mind I wonder if what they tell me is really true, and then I feel like I am judging that person and I feel worse then before...
So how do I salvage a relationship after that trust is broken? I mean how do I learn to trust that that person won't go and do the same thing again. The fuzzy line that is put there after someone breaks that trust is my own fault because I mentally put there, so how do I get rid of it? It is one of those things that I have a feeling will always be something that I will have to struggle with I suppose....
1 comment:
Well, the problem really belongs to the person and they actually may be this way in general..in other words, no just towards you...they are the ones that need to learn to be the real friend, I suppose. Since I don't know the story and may never, I'm still sorry it happened, but believe me..I'm in my 50's and it still happens with women not too much younger than myself and to me! Got that ? Yep and so...you know, you bet who you are and the only thing you can do really is to sit down with the person if at all possible and tell them your true feelings and that they need to know they never need to lie to you, about you or whatever..just know that you'd rather them come out and be REAL with you. If that works out..well, that is great..if it doesn't, you just have to decide if you want that person for a friend you really care to confide in or be around. You already really know all this, but just so you know..you are so not alone. As I've always told you...down in your heart, you can feel good about who you are...God wants you to..its grace to have that feeling that you're just doing the best you can.
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