All About Holiness in A Woman

I was able to be able to check my facebook today, and there happened to be a note that was posted, and the title of it intrigued me. I was quite pleased with what was in this note, and decided to put it on here. I am sure that this probably won't be as interesting to the male readers out there, but I hope that the females get as much out of it as I did. It is quite long, but it is so good that I do not mind it so much.... Enjoy

Holiness in a Woman

I learned something very intriguing from a really amazing priest the other day. He told me that holiness in a man means RESPONSIBILITY. Can he provide for his loved ones? Can he keep his commitments? Can he "take the lead" through mutual respect? I found it quite profound to be able to stick all of what it means to be a holy man into just one word! So that got me thinking. What does it mean to be a holy woman, in just one word?
After googling it for at least a half hour straight, coming up with... absolutely nothing, of course, I decided to ask Mary and found myself looking at a bible verse. Wisdom 7:23-8:21. (I'm not typing it out, so go crack open a bible!) The verse speaks of a peace, wisdom, understanding, beauty, a reflection of eternal light, self-control, and joy. After this multitude of beautiful and strong virtues, the passage goes on to say how "he" then sought this "wisdom," taking her as his bride for his delight, her company, and her heart.
This is what every man seeks AND what God seeks. Why do we want to be holy women? Because we have a longing within ourselves to be desired, fought for, and beautiful. By whom? Ultimately by our Prince charming, our Lord, but if we are called to the sacrament of marriage, we also desire to be holy for our earthly spouse, as well. We want to be holy and beautiful for our princes.
So where do we start? Always with God. In the book, The Restless Heart: Finding Our Spiritual Home in Times of Loneliness, Ronald Rolheiser describes how "before being born, each soul is kissed by God and then goes through life always, in some dark way, remembering that kiss and measuring everything it experiences in relation to that original sweetness." Through this understanding of our deepest longing for love, to be united with God, we need to ask ourselves a VERY important question: ARE we His spouse? And if we desire an earthly spouse, how can we logically think that we can be a man’s spouse if we are not trying to fulfill our deepest calling to be Christ's Spouse?

A Bride of Christ

Here are a few questions that we can ask ourselves to discover if we are striving to be Christ's spouse:
- Do we spend time with Him? I don't like it when people ask how much I "pray." I would much prefer if they ask how many dates I've been on with my Prince lately. Do we go on walks with Him? Talk to Him? BE with Him? Many of us have the opportunity to go to communion daily. This is the time when we are most united with our Heavenly Prince in a radical way. Do we choose BE with Him? Do we rise up, His love, His fair ones, and come away with Him?
- Do we help Him with His work? Our Lord is many things; are you at His side helping him? Our Lord is a teacher; do we enjoy being with children, young and old, and teach His Father’s way? Our Lord is a healer; do we visit the sick, provide a band-aid when needed, and offer looks and touches that will heal the broken hearted? Our Lord is a lover; do we provide charity through praying for the souls in purgatory, giving affection to the ones on earth, and seeking and yearning for the Father's Love and Will? The Lord has many other "occupations"; do we help Him?
- Do we share in His pain and His joy? How have we been given the opportunity to BE with Him--you know what I mean. To be with HIM—THERE. Everyone has a special place where we can just BE with Him. Do we venture out of ourselves to share in the pain that others go through in order to be closer to Christ? Do we visit Him in His Agony through the painful times in our lives when we lose a loved one, feel lonely, have an addiction? Do rise with Him in His Ascension when a baby is born, the sun rises, we receive good news?

The Blessed Mother, Spouse of the Spirit

We can ALWAYS turn to Mary to guide us. She has lived and continues to live as the Spirit's beautiful, immaculate bride! What a sign of Hope for us on earth! We can go and look through the gospel, find when she is mentioned, and ask ourselves how we have actually done what she has done through the Grace of God. We can see what a holy woman would do in our situation—WWMD?
We can also pray the rosary, not just for special intentions or because we "have to," but to learn how to be little Mary's here on earth. How did Mary live that mystery? How was she a spouse in that mystery? How has this mystery become real in our lives? How can we be His spouse in that mystery? For example, the first joyful mystery, the Annunciation: when did we last say "yes" to God? Perhaps it was when we didn't want to wake up early for Sunday or daily mass, but we did anyway because we WANT Him MORE than hours of sleep (although we have to be prudent, too!). Perhaps it was when we helped that little boy put on his winter coat and little gloves and hat to enjoy a snowy day. Perhaps it was when we answered our cell phone when our mom or dad was calling, even though we had a TON of homework and wanted to spend time with friends later.
One of my favorite examples of how we can be like Mary, a holy woman, is through caring for someone who is hurt. Do you remember when we were in elementary school and there were always those one or two girls who always helped everyone? Perhaps someone got hurt in gym; she was always right there so quickly! She always got out of class or didn't participate in an activity because she was the one who helped and stayed with the person who was hurt. Maybe you were that girl; or maybe you were like me, wondering how she could just DO that--forget about herself, know exactly what to say, what to do. But, that's what we're called to do: forget ourselves and simply be Beautiful for Christ.
This is also why girls should love to sing, dance, share the Faith, etc. And this is where Faith comes in. All of these things—going out of ourselves and being like Mary—can be very scary. This is because we have this feeling like we don't know HOW to do these things: to be Beautiful. But, the Truth is... we do know how when Christ is beside us. He is the one who is doing the true healing, the passionate dancing, the on-tune singing; we just have to give Him our little yes of action and He will be there LEADING us.

A Woman Existing

A couple years ago I wrote a poem that I entitled, "Pure Existence." The poem is about knowing that my soul mate is out there somewhere. He is strong and gentle and knows that I am out there somewhere, too. The end of the poem asks a very importance question that we all wonder in our hearts: Will he wait for me? Am I worth waiting for? Is my pure existence enough?
In order to answer this question, we need to first discover what it means to exist. In order to exist, we have to be there, present, and respondent. I can think of many times that I have not existed in this world. One of the simplest examples that I experience quite often is in a clothing store. I really like clothes shopping, but there is a part of it that I absolutely despise. I will be in a clothing store with my mom, who is talking to me, but when I spot that cute shirt or dress or skirt, I stop existing. I don't hear a thing that my mom says. I have trained myself to say a few uh-huh's and ya's, but I'm not really there. Instead of my existence, that dress is existing. The same thing happens a lot if I'm single and a cute young man walks by. I simply don't exist, but that guy has LIFE, let me tell you. In fact, he has MY whole life in his hands right then. But, is that enough? Will he notice me?
No. Not really. He may notice the way I look, but not my heart--not my true existence. Why? I'm not even existing right then! God says that we first have to Exist in order to be noticed. How do we exist? We become His spouse. What true man of God can resist the Church? What true man of God can resist Mary? What true man of God can resist a Bride of Christ? Jesus' princess? A lily immaculately white? A rose in full bloom? A young woman Existing. We look so many places to be irresistible, captivating; yet so many times we fail to go straight to the most remarkable, captivating beauty in this world and the next: God. We, as women reflect the Beauty of God in a Real, True way. Remember how we can live out the Annunciation? God chose a young woman to bring His Son into this world--to Exist! He chose US! In the words of Our Lord and JPII--Be Not Afraid!

One Word

Have you been wondering what I came up with (through the Grace of God, of course) as the word to describe True Holiness in Women? Well, here it is: Support. Do we feel lonely? Do we try to pray, but still feel lonely? Do we feel useless? Do we feel like we are not needed? Do we feel like we are not Existing as Women? Then we are not supporting the way God intended us to.
Mother Teresa. Talk about a woman who lived out her calling. She supported her Bridegroom with His work with the poor. She supported human dignity through every person that she touched. Women give their bodies and their lives to support. Wives support their husbands by respecting and challenging their True calling to manhood. Mothers support their children by caring for and cherishing their True calling to be God’s children. Christian women, especially those called to the religious life, support Christ by being His Bride. Women support.
Each and every day we need to support. If we give this over to God, He will provide amazing opportunities to fulfill our calling as women. We just have to receive those opportunities. They were there our whole lives. Right in front of our eyes is the way that we are fulfilled. Right in front of our eyes is the face of Christ, staring back at us asking for our support in His work. We just need to receive this gift of womanhood. In the spirit of Mary say YES to be HOLY!

Ave Maria!