"You Know You're Catholic When..."

I found some of these funny, so I thought I'd share....

You Know You're Catholic When...


"Peace Be With You" is just a way to meet pretty girls/guys.

Priests have been giving us alcohol since we were little kids.

you say Amen at the end of the Pledge of Allegiance (if you haven't said it aloud, you know you've thought it)

You make the Sign of the Cross after the Pledge of Allegiance

- people think you worship idols for refusing to clean up the "dirt" off your forehead.

We all know Da Vinci code is bogus and inaccurate. Yet we'll still read it if nothing else is going on

There's no need for impromptu prayer; you can always fall back on the Rosary

We're the oldest Christian religion. Period.

You know a missal is a book and not ammunition

You know the rosary is NOT a piece of jewelry

You know the difference between a cross and a crucifix

Hearing of a family of ten kids is not unusual.

You genuflect before entering your seat at the theater.

if you only crave hamburgers and steaks on Fridays during lent and you crave fish every other day in Lent...just never on Fridays.

you can only recite the Creed when around large groups of people.
you make the sign of the cross when you pass in front of a Catholic church

you have an overwhelming compulsion to say, "And also with you," when Yoda says, "May the Force be with you."

someone asks you your favorite Madonna song and you say “Hail Holy Queen.”

you know how to process, keeping two pews between you and the person in front, keeping lined up with your partner, walking without bobbing or swaying

you know at least 5 sins that can be committed against each of the 10 commandments

you pray a Hail Mary when you hear a fire truck or ambulance siren

all your children have saint names

You have a rosary hanging from your dash

your son calls home after being gone and the first thing you ask is have you been attending Mass

one of your crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.

you measure your life by the number of Popes who have come and gone.

you know more than 15 recipes for preparing tuna fish

You know a family whose every daughter has Mary, or every son has John Paul either as the first or middle name.

You refer to other religions as “Non-Catholic”.

You carry prayer cards in your purse or wallet

You know your friend likes a guy when she sits next to him at Mass

You reach in your purse for your keys and a rosary falls out.

You know the "difference" between Christianity and Catholicism

You learned the ABC's as "A is for Apostle. B is for Bible. And C is for Catholic"

When you make the sign of the cross and get weird looks.

When you say Amen, and actually know what it means!

You can say a Hail Mary faster than most people can recite their phone number.

You like your Bible with ALL the books in it, thank you very much!!!!

When you can stay awake during a homily.

When you hear the name Peter and instantly think of the Pope.

When you say you have two mothers and over a billion brothers and sisters.

people try to wipe off the *dirt* on your forehead.

You know the Virgin Mary is not a God and you don't treat her as such. But she is without sin, gave birth to Jesus and did it without having sex. That warrants more than a little respect.