"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?"
"At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."
"The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not."
~Grey's Anatomy~
One of my favorite shows happens to be "Grey's Anatomy." I cannot really explain why, except that some of the things the writers come up with make so much sense and really make me think... take the quotes above that come from the show.
Secrets... we all have them. I know I have held back a lot of them. I tend to be the one people go to when they want something serious to be kept because they know I won't go around and tell everyone about it. I have become quite good at keeping them to myself, and sometimes being the "secret keeper" sucks, to put it bluntly. Sometimes I get tired of holding onto everyone else's problems, but at the same time, I like being able to know that people trust me enough to tell me those secrets that they probably would not talk about to anyone else. Secrets are a burden, so how do you tell which ones to keep and how long till you want to explode from holding them in for so long.... I think the "secret keeper" needs another confidante themselves just to vent out frustrations... but because they agree to keep the secrets they tend to be stuck in a rut.
Not only is it a burden holding onto other people's secrets, but after awhile holding onto your own gets tiring. I am getting very close to breaking that "barrier" and letting some of mine out, but the thing is I am afraid of what the repercussions might be if I do just that. I don't want to have any awkwardness with anyone, but if I do put it all out there... I have a feeling there may be. I think I should have put it out there earlier on this year, but the fear of those repercussions has always stopped me from doing it. I am still afraid of what may happen, but not so much anymore... I figure living in denile over certain things is much worse then laying it all out on the line.
4 comments:
I hope I can tell you something and you will not get offended. There comes a point after you listen say to the same person's secrets for so long..that particular person keeps coming back and confiding in you..well that is actually a problem. The reason it is is not just because it is becoming difficult for you, but that person isn't ever going to the Source they should have been going to mostly all along and that Source is God..getting to know Him, what He wants for them or what He thinks. There is nothing at all wrong with good friends and confiding in someone from time to time, but putting a burden on one human being most of the time is not good and in turn, the listener..like yourself ends up playing a little like God EVEN THOUGH they/you don't REALIZE it.
Does that make sense? Now mind you..I'm only referring to the person who continually depends on your ear. I've also found out that HALF the time if not more than half, other people DO NOT take our advice anyway..oh, maybe a little here and there. Sometimes they come to "bounce" things off on a listener who won't say much, just so they don't hear the negative that perhaps they need to hear...something they may not want to hear. Having said all that..its your decision to keep listening or to back off some and tell the poor soul..you know what...I'm really not one who has all the answers and if you don't want to hear my thoughts..maybe you need to sit quietly by yourself and hash it out with God.
Can't hurt. It doesn't mean they won't come to you again, but it may take some of it off your shoulders, so to speak.
Just remember that when you are fixing to tell your own secrets, that the person listening may realize more than you know they do.
Be prepared for all they have to say too and pray that it goes well between you and that person...true friends who have some kind of love for one another will not make the other feel awkward. :)
Prayers for all of this..sounds like some hefty stuff!
HA!!!! Teresa...I didn't sign in again..what goes..I usually didn't do that before! I don't get it..anyway..just so you and the world who read it knows ...Mom/Suzanne just wrote the previous comment also! Sorry, T!
Momma: When people come to me with their secrets, I don't usually give them advice, I usually just let them vent... because as you pointed out, they probably wouldn't take it if I gave it to them... they just want to talk it out and usually it's me they talk it out to, if that makes any sense...
Oh! Yeah, I know that...I'm just passing on some thoughts, because you were feeling a "little bit" of a burden or so that is what I took from your post..not a huge burden, just getting a little tired of some of it, so I just offered some thoughts..love you sooooo much!
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