My "Conversion" Story

This past month at my church we have been doing a parish renewal program, called G.I.F.T. (Growing In Faith Together). Tonight the speaker, Dr. Howell, spoke about the Eucharist. It was such an inspiring talk and it gave me so much to think about. During his talk, he asked us a question. He asked us if we had ever had a profound "conversion" moment in our adult life when we knew without a doubt in our mind that God was really and truly real and it changed our whole perspective on how we looked at the world. This question had immediately made me flashback to my "conversion."
You see, growing up I always have "known" that Jesus was really in the Eucharist, but I didn't really get it totally. Being homeschooled my whole life I had religion and the faith thrown at me from all sides. Not only was I getting it from home, but having my family be so well known in my church there were many people who automatically thought that since I was Danny and Suzanne McConnell's daughter I must be a really good kid who probably had a close relationship with God... Sadly, this was far from the truth. You see, on the outside I portrayed myself as the good Catholic girl because that's what I thought people wanted to see and I went along with it, but really on the inside it drove me crazy and I resented it...I hardly got anything out of going to church. So that's how I was and it was not until I was a freshman in college that I had my "conversion." I was not doing smart things in the beginning of the school year, and I don't really want to get into those things right now, but they really were not smart at all... One day, my mom came to me to ask if I would go on this retreat called "Consumed" with her and my younger sister and some of my other friends. "Consumed" is an Archdiocesean retreat based on Eucharistic adoration. You basically spend the whole week-end with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. The talks were usually given with Jesus exposed, songs were song, there was quiet time with you and just Jesus. You could choose to spend one hour during the night to stay awake with Jesus... so forth and so on. Now at the time my mom first mentioned this retreat I really did not want to go. It was not something I thought would be fun at all. In fact, it sounded kind of boring to be with Jesus in adoration for that long, so I passed on the offer and did my own thing that week-end while my mom was gone. Well when my friends came back from the retreat I noticed something totally different about them all. They were happier and more on fire with Jesus then I had ever seen them before. One of my friends even told me that he wanted to become a priest. Needless to say, I became curious about what this retreat was all about, but I was not yet ready to give up my fun just yet.
Well about six months went by, and by now I was ready to do something different. I was ready to not be so grumpy and pessimistic about things, and seeing all my friends still on fire with Jesus after six months really made me sad I didn't go on the retreat. A few weeks went by when my mom again came up to me and asked me if I would like to go on "Consumed" with her and my younger sister. The first one went so well that they were doing another one. Well, I pretty much jumped at the chance to go this time, but I really did not know what to expect going into it. Since I hadn't gone the first time, I didn't really realize all the stuff that would go on, but I was open to anything that could happen. So I went and I met the priest that was leading it, Fr. Meyer. He was a breakdancing and rapping priest (he still can do those things now, but not nearly as much as when I first met him.) and I thought that was really cool. There were also rapping nuns that came, and I had never met a nun that rapped before. The talks that were given all made me think about things in a whole new way, and the confession I did at that retreat was by far the most moving confession I had ever done. For the first time, I felt really and truly sorry for what I had done. None of that was as moving though as that night when they had a Eucharistic procession. Fr. Meyer brought the Eucharist around to each of us, and when he brought it to me, I remember looking up into the monstrance and I knew immediately for the first time ever that THAT was Jesus. It was not a symbol, but He was really there. I knew right then that my life had changed totally in that moment, and I would never be the same person I was before going on the retreat, and I broke down and cried. I wish I could tell you exactly how I felt or what was all going through my mind at that moment, but there really are no words to express it. I felt so amazing after that, and now looking back I am so glad I took the chance to be open and let Christ change my life, because He did, and I am so on fire with God and the Eucharist. So Dr. Howell was also right when he said that he was sure that everyone's "conversion" most likely had something to do with the Eucharist, because mine had everything to do with it, and it's something I will always remember.