Reflecting on "The Passion"

At my weekly "holy hour" meeting, I was surprised to find out that the activity for the night was to watch the movie "The Passion." I was somewhat unsure of watching this movie again after just watching it on Friday, but not wanting to seem rude by leaving really fast I decided to stay. I am now glad I did, because after watching the movie we all had a really good discussion about it. We talked about different parts of the movie, or people in the movie that touched us. We discussed the other characters in the scripture besides Jesus, like Simon, Pilot, Judas, and Peter.
I never really have paid much attention to Simon in the past, but tonight I took more notice of him. It was interesting to watch how when he first was told to carry the cross he wanted everyone to know he was a free man carrying a condemned man's cross, and then as you watch him help Jesus you notice how he soon realizes that there was something special about Jesus. In the end, really, Jesus is the one that was carrying not just Simon's cross, but all of our crosses.
Pilot is another character I have never really understood. I have always been frustrated with this character because I think he could have done more than he did to save Jesus. One person in my group said that she wished he would have said something like, "I don't believe he should be killed, so if you want to do this you're gonna have to kill me along with him." Then again, in some ways, I think we can all be like Pilot. What I mean by that is, sometimes we see things happen in our day to day lives that we don't necessarily agree with, but out of fear of rejection we stay silent and just watch those things keep happening.
Then we also had the discussion about Judas and Peter. Judas and Peter in their own ways both betrayed Jesus, but Judas ended up killing himself, while Peter did not. I think that if Judas came up to Jesus and asked for forgiveness for what he had done, Jesus would have forgiven him, but Judas fell into what we call the "sin of despair." He felt that there was no way he would have been forgiven by Jesus, and after being tormented he eventually killed himself. Meanwhile, Peter, after denying Jesus three times, ends up running to Mary and telling her what he had done and asks for forgiveness. It was interesting to really think about those two, because again, I think we as humans also betray Jesus whenever we commit a sin. So even though my first initial feeling is to really dislike Judas, thinking about it, I am just like him in my own way, except I have not fallen into the "Sin of Despair," as he did.
Another thing we talked about was what was it that actually ended up killing Jesus. Fr. Bob told us that he had watched a television program all about different theories of how Jesus died. He told us that for awhile people thought Jesus ended up suffocating and died. The people on the program did not believe this theory, mainly because Jesus was talking right before he died. If a person is truly suffocating there is no way for them to be able to talk while they are struggling for breath. Instead, they believe that while Jesus was carrying his cross he did indeed fall, and during one of those falls his heart got injured. While he was on the cross, his struggling for breath probably ended up breaking the heart's outer wall barrier. Now if that barrier is broken, people will usually feel that in their body, and that is how Jesus knew he was about to die and was able to say the words "Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit." So essentially, they believe that Jesus died of a broken heart. Interesting, don't you think?
I can honestly say after all of this meditating on the passion of Jesus, I am very ready for Easter!