Thursday, August 27, 2009

"I think I can! I think I can. I....Think......I.......Can....?"

I am feeling overwhelmed. Now having been through the first week of classes, I now know just what kind of torture I will be putting myself through. Working forty hours a week at the daycare, which is an intense job that uses up a lot of energy, and then going to class for 12 hours a week is a huge chunk of time that has been taken from me.
I have now seen all the different assignments I will be having to do and how all the quizzes and tests are all lined up. Basically pretty much all the free time I will have will be going to be spent on homework and studying for tests. Sitting here while looking over all the syllabuses with all the dates assignments are due is making my brain hurt. It never ceases to surprise me how in all my classes the quizzes and tests usually end up being assigned all in the same week. To me, that does not make much sense. I know that the majority of the things I memorize for one test only get stored in my memory until that test is through. After a test is taken that information tends to get deleted from my memory, like when I delete something off of my computer. I push those facts out of my mind so I can free up space for the next set of facts. I feel like my brain is just recycling the same space for just the memorization needed to take the tests. I do not understand how people think this is the best way students will remember things from tests when students have to study for lots of different tests in one week. It just does not work very well for me. I learn nothing that way and end up walking around in a complete daze and feeling as though I just woke up with a huge hang over and a pounding head ache, and I just want to relax while wondering why in the world I put myself through that never ending cycle. What good does it do for me?
As I sat here looking through the assignments, it hit me. I was thinking about these classes in the wrong way. I realized that if I am going to make it to the end of this semester I cannot look at all the papers and projects and tests because I am only setting myself up for failure. Instead I am only going to think about one week at a time. Getting myself through one week and then worry about the next. So, I have put the syllabuses away for the time being, and refuse to look at them again until Monday, and then I will only focus on week two, and not worry about the rest. Doing this I hope will help me attain some part of my sanity and will save me from a complete melt down. That and I will be praying way way more for the energy to get through it all.

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