I hate the "G" word

The thing about having to say good-bye is when you have regrets... especially if you never truly told a good friend how much you appreciate them, and how important they are in your life. After they have left, you regret taking them for granted, because when you finally realize you've taken a friendship for granted... it may be too late to fix it. I hope that those people who are leaving know how much I love and will miss being around them terribly. Just thinking about this year without them is making it hard for me to breath... like I will suffocate without them here... The hardest good-byes for me to make have finally started to begin, and I'm not gonna lie... I'm hating that feeling right after you say good-bye.... you know that kind of empty feeling. Like all of a sudden there is this empty space that once was so full and everything felt so right. I'm not saying that just because they are gone means that I automatically forget them, because that's when I think about them the most, but not having them close by where I can see them when I need to is what is really killing me. There are the things that people always say when they are saying good-bye. Things like, "don't worry... we''ll keep in touch.," "I won't be gone for long," "Me leaving won't change anything," so forth and so on... it's as though there is some unwritten rule and people feel the need to say those things. The problem is that sometimes when people say these things, they say them in the beginning probably believing it, but really when you or someone else leaves, things will always change. Everyone starts focusing on the new people in their life that they meet, and slowly the old kind of goes on the back burner. It's sad when that happens... I think the worst thing is when you have been forgotten about by someone you could never forget. I guess that's what I really fear when I say good-bye to people... that they will forget about the good times we had together and how close we once were. I have a feeling though, at least on my part, that the one's who are leaving for wherever life takes them, that they will be the kind of friends I will keep for life. I am not saying we will always be as close as we once were (which if I had my way, we would be), but I am going to work really hard in keeping them in my future life, because once I met them and I thought about life before them I can't even imagine how my life would be without them in it.