"Everything I am. Everything I long to be I lay it down at Your feet..."

Tonight at "holy hour" (I hyphenate the name because what people would consider a holy hour is not what this particular group does sadly....) we reflected on one of my favorite songs, "I Lay It Down" by Matt Mahar, which I have mentioned before, and if you want to read the lyrics you can click here. While listening to this song I couldn't help but be reminded that everything I am was given to me by God in the first place. I am so used to thinking "my" a lot without really thinking about who gave all those things that make up who I am to me in the first place. God has planned my life from the beginning of time. He's picked the people who would raise me. He's picked the people who would be my family. He's picked every person out that I have considered a close friend for me. He planned the exact time and place I would live. Every single interaction between someone, God knew would happen because He planned it out. It's kind of overwhelming to really think about.
The line "Everything I long to be, I lay it down at Your feet." is the line that always gets to me the most. Everything a person should long to be is someone that is doing what serves God in the best possible way for that person. There are so many things I long for, and I have to remember that what I want is not always what God wants... I mentioned to a friend that I was frustrated with God because I prayed to him about something I really wanted and I told her he did not answer me, and she looked at me and said,"Yes He did. He said no." I only wished I figured that on my own, but God uses people to help send messages to us, and I think that is one time He did it....
Another thing that was kind of funny hearing that song tonight is that for my own retreat talk this week-end I have chosen that particular song as a reflection piece... Out of all the songs this girl could have chosen she chose that one. It kind of made me feel even more relieved that I chose the right song. We shall see.....