The Heart of Who I Am....

Right now I am sitting in my house alone and the only thing I hear other then the clicking sound of the keys as I am typing this out is the sound of the washing machine in the basement. Every now and then I get a chance when I am home alone and I have nothing to do and so I tend to either read a book or watch tv or mess around on the computer. I relish these times. It is pretty much the second best thing to Eucharistic Adoration for me, a time when I tend to just let my thoughts go on their own and relax and just breath. God must think I need this time because not only did he give it to me tonight at home, but I will was able to go to Eucharistic Adoration after I got off of work for first Friday.
Lately there tends to be a lot of things going on in my life and I get bombarded with something else new at least once a week, whether it's with schoolwork, or with work, or family issues, and slowly it is starting to just bring me down. I wouldn't be surprised if my family has noticed it because I really am not always in the best of moods when I get home at night because I am tired and drained from not only running from one place to another, but dealing with all these different changes uses up even more energy.
I was reading the book of Job this past month, and even though I know that my life is no where near how his was going, I can't help but relate a little bit to the way he talked with God and his friends. It was a lot of venting and frustration going on there, and I feel as though that is how my prayer life has been for a couple of months now. While reading it I came to the realization that whatever life throws my way I won't let it cause me to lose faith... Because when I look down deep and into the heart of who I am and what I love the most, it would be my faith. It gives me hope, and if I ever gave up hope then I am afraid of what I would become, so I refuse to give up on it. In fact that is one of the most important things I pray about each night and I am sure that God will not let me lose it.
I think that there is a book that is calling my name to go read it (not literally of course), and since I am done rambling on I am gonna go lose myself in it's storyline. :)