Here to Represent......

I mentioned before in a past blog post about my psychology instructor being an anti-Catholic who really strongly dislikes Catholic priests. In my first class he went on a ten minute rant about how all Catholic priests were sexual predators and we should all be wary of every priest we meet... yadda yadda yadda.... I was caught totally by surprise with this attack on my faith that I did not know exactly how to re-act to my instructor, and without any concrete evidence and verifiable facts to back me up I did not respond to his attack. I was really frustrated with myself for this. Tonight was my psychology class, and even though I have a feeling if I did present verifiable facts to him about what he said last week, I do not think I would have gotten too far.

Instead of doing that, I kind of subtly showed him that I happened to be a Catholic in his class. I decided to wear one of my very Catholic retreat t-shirts to class. I own quite a few of them, so it was inevitable I would have worn one of them to his class whether I knew his position about my faith or not... So I wore it to class, and ended up finding out that about one third of my class is Catholic, which is kind of nice. Us Catholics started talking about how the last class went while waiting for class to begin. Our instructor was not in the room at that time, but many of the other students were and were listening to our discussion about how we thought he kind of overstepped his boundaries in trying to make Catholic priests look bad.

I think if I did not have my t-shirt on I would not have realized how many other Catholics were in the room, and we would not have started on that discussion. I think it was also good that the non-Catholics in the room heard our views on the topic of what our instructor said. I hope that they had a better out-look on the Church after hearing us. The best thing was, without the instructor in the room there was way more freedom to talk about our frustrations without feeling like we could end up getting a bad grade in his class. I still fully intend to write down an anonymous comment to him when they have us fill out the suggestion surveys towards the end of the semester. I think that if he wanted to put one religious group down for sexual abuse, he needed to make known the other religious groups that have had that happen too. It's only fair.....

Needless to say, I was sitting towards the front of the room, and he did see my t-shirt, and thankfully there was no more Catholic bashing from him tonight.

"Ride"

I was watching the C.M.A. music festival tonight when Martina McBride came on and sang her song "Ride." (For those of you who have never heard this song before, I put the lyrics below.) This happens to be a favorite song of mine at the moment. It is all about how you should carry yourself and try to hold onto a positive out-look on your life no matter how hard you think life may be at the moment. Life may seem hard at the moment, but it won't last long. You never know what is gonna come at you, so enjoy every great moment you have and hold on as tight as you can to that feeling, because even at your worst moments there is always going to be something little that will bring a smile to your face. I wanted to put it on my play list for my blog for awhile now, but for some reason the place I use does not have that particular song available at the moment....

Ride lyrics
Martina McBride

You wake up from your dreamin' and you don't want to face the day
You can't find a reason to think your world will ever change
You can hide beneath the covers
Or you can run outside, head up high and carry on

Life is a roller coaster ride
Time turns the wheel and love collides
Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky
To shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride

It brings you up slowly then shoots you like a rocket towards the ground
It twists you and it shakes you before it turns you upside down
You can't see what's around the corner
And you can't look back, so just live it up and feel the rush

Life is a roller coaster ride
Time turns the wheel and love collides
Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky
So shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride

Ride, ride, yeah

Oh yeah, shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride

Ride, ride, yeah, yeah

Reminiscing in the Rain

I love it when there is a rainy day every now and then. I am not talking about stormy tornado rainy weather, I mean the gentle kind of drizzling. The kind where there is no danger from lightning, and the rain taps on your window as you are laying in your bed with no where to go. It is peaceful and relaxing to be in my bedroom in my bed with the pillows propped up and the blanket around me while reading a good book and the only sound in the back round is the splatter of those raindrops on the rooftop, and the window is open so I can smell the scent of the rain. I feel like I am in another place sometimes during the mornings I can get away with not having to be somewhere when it rains like that.
Yesterday it rained with an almost endless drizzle here, and even though I did not get to lay in bed and listen to the rain like I so wanted to do, I did get to do another favorite rain activity of mine. After work, my sister and her boyfriend and I enjoyed running around and playing in the rain. We got drenched, but there is something revitalizing and rejuvenating about playing in the rain. When I play in the rain I forget about worrying how I will look afterwords. I don't care how messy my hair gets or if mascara happens to be running down my face, or the fact that I am soaked from head to foot, or how long it will take before I will be able to wear my sneakers again because of how incredibly wet they end up being.
I get to let the five year old in me go out and let loose during that time. I remember how much fun it is to splash around in puddles and get a little muddy from tripping in the wet grass. I remember how it was like when I did not care how other people thought about me and what I looked like. I remember how easy it really was to be just me, and not try to be what everyone thought I should be. I remember how making friends and bonding with them was through simple acts as sharing coloring crayons or playing games of "pretend" where I could imagine anything I wanted too. A time where everything I ever wanted to do could and would happen. Life was still full of endless possibilities and I believed it was possible to be a mother, a doctor, teacher, a famous singer and actress all at the same time. Failure did not really cross my mind. It brings me back to a time when life was much simpler and the world was a safe place where bad things only happened in the movies.... There is a quote I recently read, "I wish I were five again. Broken crayons were easier to mend then broken hearts."
Sometimes I do wish I were five, but since I can't go back to that age, I will still always try to hold on to that five year old girl and always keep a part of her with me as I get older.

Thank God it is Friday!!! :)

Why is it that a person can feel so tired and exhausted through the work week, and then wake up on Friday morning and feel like you can take on the world? Last night I felt as though I were going to go mentally insane from all the work I will be doing, but I woke up this morning and felt very refreshed and much calmer about how my life will be for the next fifteen weeks of my life. I think it has a lot to do with all the prayers I said to God last night about how worried I was.
I also think that it is a mental thing and something triggers in a person's mind when Friday comes around. I think that something kicks in to gear and gives me the energy to get through Friday because I know that the end of the work week is closer with every second that goes by and I am closer to the freedom of a week-end.
It's like running a marathon. You are finally getting to the point where you do not think you can take another step. You are physically and mentally exhausted from pushing yourself for so long. You just want to drop and stay where you are without caring how long you lay there..... and finally the moment you want to quit, you finally see the first sign of the end getting nearer and the finish line getting closer and closer every time you touch your feet to the ground. All of a sudden somewhere inside of you, you gain the energy needed to push yourself with every step you take because you know that if you quit now you would surely be upset for selling yourself short so close to the ending.
That's how I feel a Friday is for me.

"Serenity Prayer"

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

"I think I can! I think I can. I....Think......I.......Can....?"

I am feeling overwhelmed. Now having been through the first week of classes, I now know just what kind of torture I will be putting myself through. Working forty hours a week at the daycare, which is an intense job that uses up a lot of energy, and then going to class for 12 hours a week is a huge chunk of time that has been taken from me.
I have now seen all the different assignments I will be having to do and how all the quizzes and tests are all lined up. Basically pretty much all the free time I will have will be going to be spent on homework and studying for tests. Sitting here while looking over all the syllabuses with all the dates assignments are due is making my brain hurt. It never ceases to surprise me how in all my classes the quizzes and tests usually end up being assigned all in the same week. To me, that does not make much sense. I know that the majority of the things I memorize for one test only get stored in my memory until that test is through. After a test is taken that information tends to get deleted from my memory, like when I delete something off of my computer. I push those facts out of my mind so I can free up space for the next set of facts. I feel like my brain is just recycling the same space for just the memorization needed to take the tests. I do not understand how people think this is the best way students will remember things from tests when students have to study for lots of different tests in one week. It just does not work very well for me. I learn nothing that way and end up walking around in a complete daze and feeling as though I just woke up with a huge hang over and a pounding head ache, and I just want to relax while wondering why in the world I put myself through that never ending cycle. What good does it do for me?
As I sat here looking through the assignments, it hit me. I was thinking about these classes in the wrong way. I realized that if I am going to make it to the end of this semester I cannot look at all the papers and projects and tests because I am only setting myself up for failure. Instead I am only going to think about one week at a time. Getting myself through one week and then worry about the next. So, I have put the syllabuses away for the time being, and refuse to look at them again until Monday, and then I will only focus on week two, and not worry about the rest. Doing this I hope will help me attain some part of my sanity and will save me from a complete melt down. That and I will be praying way way more for the energy to get through it all.

More Random Facts About Myself...

Tonight was my first night for my Creative Writing English class. I have always enjoyed English. I love to read, and write, so I thought this would be the class I would have as my "fun" class for the semester. I think it will be fun, but there is going to be a lot more work involved than I anticipated. Tonight for our ice breaker, our instructor had us write our own poems using our names.... I had fun with that, so I thought I would put my silly poem on here.... Pretty much everything I put in it were the first things that came to my mind. I did not have as much time to really think about each letter as some of my other classmates did because my name is so long... Enjoy!


T - eaching is one of the most rewarding jobs I've ever had. I love to teach, especially young children, and that is why I am majoring in Early Childhood Education. I

E - enjoy making new friends. I am an outgoing person, and I hate seeing people who are left out. It makes me sad.

R- eading happens to be a favorite way to pass my time. My favorite book at the moment is, "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austin.

E - veryone I am friends with tend to tease me about my height; more accurately, my lack of it.

S - miling is my favorite thing. I

A- lways enjoy listening to music. I enjoy pretty much any genre, but my very favorite is country. I am

M - issing all of my friends who have left for college for the year. I

C - an't resist cowboys.

C - hocolate is a weakness of mine.

O - range happens to be one of my least favorite colors. I

N - ever like to sing in public. I am

N - ot a morning person. I

E - njoy playing in the rain.

L - oyalty is something I find very important in all relationships. I am

L - ost when it comes to cars. They are a complete mystery to me.

"Student's Prayer"

With the new school semester beginning and trouble already arising in my psychology class, I figured that this would be the perfect time to post one of my favorite student prayers. I have a feeling I will have it memorized all the way through before the end of this semester....

Student's Prayer

By St. Thomas Aquinas


Creator of all things, true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.

Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.

Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things correctly and fundamentally.

Grant me the talent of being exact
in my explanations and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.

Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.

I ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

True love is not about putting yourself first....

It never surprises me when in each semester I have a professor who is pretty anti-Catholic.... I have always had one, and for this semester it is my Psychology professor... I think, if it were not for this one fact, the class would be a lot more fun to go too.
Tonight, my college professor began to talk about child-abuse. While talking about that he went on to talk about the statistics of girls and boys who have been sexually abused by age eighteen. He told us that the main sexual predators for boys are Catholic priests.... yes, he went there. He also mentioned teachers being high on the list too, but he especially wanted to get the Catholic priest thing hammered into our brains. It was during that moment when I so wished I had statistics on how many non-catholic religious leaders also were sex offenders.... My professor did not even mention them. Since I did not know those numbers I had a feeling my argument would not have gone too far. I hate politics in class rooms... I do not want to start off on the wrong foot in the first week of classes, but silently I was fuming about how he was putting down priests in the class lecture for about ten minutes. I was more frustrated with myself for not sucking it up and raising my hand and saying something. I chickened out...
Another thing that frustrated me about this teacher is how later on he began putting down the Church for saying masturbation is bad... Why that had anything to do with psychology, I have no clue. He went on another 10 minute rant about how the Church is old fashioned and needs to "keep up with the times." While he was talking about this subject I thought to myself maybe he was still an old bachelor, but I looked and no, he is married. The whole reason why the Church states masturbation is wrong is because you are focused on yourself, and sex is supposed to be an expression of love and also used for procreation... Masturbation is a selfish act and is withholding from the spouse. There is a website I found which you can find when you click here.
Below I found from that website....

"Is masturbation wrong?"

Yes. The Catholic teaching on masturbation says that masturbation is always morally wrong.

Sex is intended to be both an expression of love for your spouse, and a beautiful means of procreation.

Sex is so special, powerful, and valuable that it is properly used only within marriage. If you're not married, you should abstain from sexual activity.

I know: this is all very counter-cultural.

The truth sometimes is!

Sex is the ultimate gift husbands and wives can give: a total gift of self, body and soul. Sex is how you fulfill your wedding vows to love totally, freely, and completely. As long as you both shall live. The secret of life is hidden in that intimate sharing.

The Catholic teaching on masturbation says that masturbation denies every aspect of that promise of sex — of that promise of your vows!

Masturbation is:

• Focused on yourself
• A withholding from your spouse
• A statement that sex is only about pleasure — your own pleasure
• Inherently sterile
• Often accompanied by "adultery in your heart" through pornography and fantasy

Catholics don't condemn masturbation just because of some lofty idea of what the natural purpose of sex is. We speak the truth about the harm it does to people.

That is the true reason for the Catholic teaching on masturbation: it denies the meaning of sex. It makes you less than fully human.

I have a feeling that this is going to be one long semester with this professor....

"Hands"

I was listening to an older play list of mine when this song happened to start playing. I had not heard this song in such a long time. It has such a great message to it. It reminded me that God is the one who gave us our gifts for the purpose of using them in a positive way down here on earth. Whether that is to help make life easier for another person through fighting for their basic human rights; like fighting against abortion for example, or making sure people have the necessities to stay alive by finding a way to donated money to Catholic relief services or donating time by volunteering at a community kitchen in your local town.
I happened to be involved in a group called C.A.P. (Civil Air Patrol) when I was back in high school. A huge thing that was pushed into our heads was integrity, not a bad thing to keep pushing into our brains... Integrity is seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being told to do so. If you want something changed in the world to help make it into a better place, you cannot expect it to be done without hard work. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to see it changed. That is kind of what this song is all about.

Hands lyrics
by Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Through with "Good-byes"

This Summer for me was a really hard one. Mostly full of saying good-bye to many good friends. In fact, I feel as though that is what I have had to do all Summer is say good-bye. Saying one good-bye after another and another, well it kind of wears you out and can be emotionally draining. I don't think I have ever cried as much as I have this Summer because of all the good-byes I have had to say... They say it is always harder for the people who leave than the one's who were left behind... but I do not totally agree with that. I think there are different aspects that kinda stink for both the people who are leaving and those that get left behind.
Yes, the people who leave sometimes have a hard time. They are going to a new place filled with new experiences and new people. They have to learn to adjust to their new surroundings. If they want to try to not think about people they left behind it is possibly a little bit easier because they are not surrounded by people who know about the ones the person left, so they do not have to talk about them so much or hear their names brought up in a casual conversation.
The people who get left behind, well the story is a little bit different. They are surrounded by what is familiar to them, but I think in a way that can be harder on the person. To be surrounded by reminders of those that left... the places they hung out at, the people they hung out with... Usually they have a harder time trying not to think so much of the person who left because everywhere they go there are reminders of them.
It is hard either way. The "good-bye" process... learning how to adjust to everyday life without the people who helped make it brighter and easier to wake up and face the day.
I can officially say that after this Summer, I am now ready to have something new start. I'm ready for school to begin in a way so that I can meet new people and keep my mind busy with other things so that I won't be so mopey like I have been the past few weeks. There is a line from a song which goes, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." I think that is a very true statement, and I guess in a way I am ready now for a new beginning too. I am ready to say"Hello" more than "Good-bye."

There are some things guys should always do for girls. Period....

I found this list off of facebook. I mentioned in a blog posting awhile back ago how I wished that girls were still treated with respect by guys. Now I know it is not all the males fault as to why they stopped doing simple acts of respect for girls. Women today seem to have this mind set that we are equal to men, and we do not need their help at all. I think that is really sad, myself... You can read more about my opinion on this if you click here. When I found this list, I was surprised to find that most of it was made up by men, so it is not girls trying to tell men how to act, but other men trying to tell other men how to be men. Hopefully that last sentence was not too confusing...

0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.

Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time.

When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)

Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.

Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)

If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.

Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.

Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".

Ask her questions about herself.

Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.

PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)

Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)

Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!

Kiss her on the forehead.

Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).

LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!

Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.

Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.

Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)

Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).

Don't be too proud to apologize.

When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.

If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.

Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.

Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some".

Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]

Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]

When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)

At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!

Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.

If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**

If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.

Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.

A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.

My Top 10 Memories from my Summer of 2009

It is finally that time for another semester of classes to begin. I guess the beginning of school has just kind of creeped up on me this time. The Summer just kind of flew by... and it was a fun one, but also a hard one for me. I guess knowing I have to go out and buy books for my classes tomorrow and get school supplies over the weekend is what has finally caused me to register how fast it all went by. I think the most mundane part of the whole "getting back to school" is waiting in line to buy books. I have waited three hours one time just to spend tons of money on books I hardly ever opened up. I think it is so silly that students have to spend so much money on text books. They cost so much.
I think with all the classes I am taking and working full-time as well, this semester will hopefully go by fast. I am just ready to be done with school, myself. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I do have a full-time job in the area that I am majoring in. I feel like I already know a lot of the things they are teaching me, but I still have to go and take the classes to get my degree. I think I would be more interested in my classes if that were not the case...

Knowing that this is my "last week of freedom," I have spent more time thinking back on my Summer. The good things about it and the not so good. So what are my top 10 things I want to remember the most about the Summer of '09?

My Top 10 Memories from my Summer of 2009

1.)My birthday celebration: It was so much fun that night with all my friends. They all made me feel special and very loved. :)
2.) The many hikes I took at McCormick's Creek. They were always fun.
3.) The late night "Ice cream" binges. Yummy!
4.) Random adventures: I would get in the car with my friends and we would drive down random roads not really knowing where we were going, just enjoying the fun of it.
5.) A friend of mine's birthday party. It was a fun night. It was an enjoyable day that day, minus my car wreck.
6.) Sunday night Bible studies and the ultimate frisbie games that followed. Those were really fun and interesting.
7.) The Eric Church concert I went to. Good times that night.
8.) My road trip to King's Island/ Ohio with some of my friends: It was like our big last thing we did together before we had to leave eachother for the school year. It was so much fun and filled with good memories.
9.) Helping teach 3rd grade ccd classes. I had a blast with that.
10.) Going out to St. John's late at night just to look at the stars. There's just something about looking up at the universe and the countless stars that really make you think and ponder about things.

Catholocism vs. Mormonism

In the past few months I have mentioned how I want to learn more about other religions and their beliefs so I can know how to defend my own faith better. You can read about some other religions if you click here. In the past year I read a book titled, "Escape," which was a biography about how a woman escaped from the Mormon cult. It was very interesting to read and made me want to learn even more about this religion, because while reading the book there were so many strange things that people believed and it almost seemed unreal.

I have looked at quite a few different websites and they all seem to tell the same story. I found out that Mormonism was founded by Joseph Smith in 1805. It is said that Joseph Smith was visited by God while praying about which church he should join, and God told him that all organized christian religions were abominations. After God told him this an angel then appeared to him and told him to go to New york to find special golden plates, so Smith went to retrieve them. According to the story, Smith, with the help of some friends translated the golden plates into what is now known as the "Book of Mormon." Shortly after this, Smith worked very hard to spread the "message" he received from God and gained enough followers that Mormonism that they had to move their headquarters to Illinois. The growth of the city caused problems for Smith, and he eventually was murdered in 1844. After his death many Mormon leaders decided to take control of the leadership. Some of these leaders claimed that they were appointed to take over power by Smith himself before he died. This caused friction within the large following and ended up splitting up the church into many different sects...

I also found a very helpful website that outlined the different beliefs that Catholics believe and how the Mormons feel. I put that information below. It was very interesting to learn about.

Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy are grounded in the same theological tradition. They are similar to each other doctrinally and hold teachings that differ from Mormonism.

GOD. Both Catholicism and Orthodoxy believe God to be the Creator of the universe, and that God's being is trinitarian—that the persons of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit exist simultaneously in one divine nature. LDS doctrine is, on the other hand, tritheistic; it is subordinationist. The Son is subordinate to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is sent forth by the will of the Father through Jesus Christ, his son. Both Catholic traditions teach that God is a self-revealing mystery whose perfect manifestation is in Jesus Christ, who is present to the world in the Church. Latter-day Saints affirm that Jesus Christ has a separate nature and is a separate entity from the Father, and that as Jesus Christ was and is visible, embodied, and glorified, so is the Father (see Doctrine: Doctrinal Distinctive Teachings; Teachings About the Godhead home page).

CHRIST. According to Catholic belief, Jesus was born of a virgin, and is the Incarnate Son of God. As both God and man, he is the Savior of the World. For Latter-day Saints Christ was not, is not now, and never will be united in nature or substance with the Father. His oneness with the Father is spiritual in spirit, purpose, and mind. Jesus, in LDS belief, is the Only Begotten Son of the Father in the flesh. He entered mortality, subject to growth as well as being, and fulfilled the will of the Father as exemplar, savior, and mediator. He was not given all power on earth and in heaven until he received the fulness of the glory of the Father (see Godhead; Teachings About Jesus Christ home page).

ATONEMENT. In both Catholic traditions Christ's Atonement provides access to salvific grace. Christ's death-resurrection is the saving event and the cross, the symbol of salvation. For Latter-day Saints the Atonement of Jesus Christ was a descending below all things in order to rise above all. He suffered "according to the flesh" because in no other way could he know the anguish of sin and sinfulness, exemplify redemptive love, and reconcile justice and mercy. The Atonement reunites man with God both through sanctification and resurrection. All that Christ received from the Father may be received by man from the Father through Christ. This transformation is akin to the Eastern Orthodox view of theosis. The goal of discipleship is to become, through Christ, the image and likeness of God (see Atonement; Deification).

AUTHORITY. Catholics believe that Jesus bestowed his pastoral authority on Peter, who thus became the first "Vicar of Christ" and head of the church, and that this authority to teach and to sanctify has been passed on in unbroken succession in the institution of the Papacy. Eastern Orthodoxy holds that Peter was first among equals, therefore Patriarchs have equal authority. They also ascribe a special authority to the first seven ecumenical councils. Latter-day Saints believe that Peter held the keys of apostolic authority, which were also conferred upon the Twelve apostles. Priesthood powers are not indelible but inseparably connected to righteousness. The loss of the full keys of the priesthood was a failure to transmit. Their modern reconferral was under the hands of Peter, James, and John (see Aaronic Priesthood: Restoration of). Every worthy male in the Church is to receive ordination to the priesthood with authority to perform saving ordinances and every father is to function as a patriarch to his own family. (See Restoration of the Gospel home page)

SCRIPTURE. For Catholics and Orthodox, the Old and New Testament is the inexhaustible source of Christian belief. The Canon is closed. For Latter-day Saints the canon remains open. Scripture is the record of prophetic utterance given under inspiration. There is no final revelation. Revelation in on-going. Neither written scripture, nor natural theology, supersedes the "living oracles" (see Religious Experience; Revelation; Scripture; Scriptual Writings home page).

CHURCH. Catholicism and Orthodoxy understand the Church as a communion of saints. The Holy Spirit enlivens the Church with grace empowering it to carry on the work of Christ in history. It is a community of salvation where the Gospel is preached and the sacraments received. Latter-day Saints believe that with the restoration of the higher priesthood came three elements lost from the New Testament Church: (1) organizational patterns and their related offices, including a quorum of twelve apostles; (2) the spirit of prophecy, and all the spiritual gifts; and (3) the temple with its essential ordinances and practices (see Gifts of the Spirit; Organization; Temples). Catholics affirm that grace centers in God's free gift offered through Christ in the sacraments and is infused to the soul. Baptism is essential for salvation. All sacraments are the necessary means of the grace needed for salvation. Mormon rites or ordinances are processes of spiritual rebirth in which the powers of godliness are manifest. They are received by all and all the ordinances are essential to salvation, from baptism to the higher ordinances of the temple. Their efficacy requires proper forms, ordained priesthood authority, and the faith and repentance of the person. There are degrees of salvation and the fulness of salvation or exaltation requires the fulness of the ordinances (see Baptism; Confirmation; Endowment; Temple Ordinances).

EUCHARIST. For both Catholic traditions, the Eucharist is a Sacrament in which the true body and blood of Jesus is physically present, that is, the actual saving reality of the Lord. The liturgical act of consecration is a true sacrifice in which, through transubstantiation, the elements of bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ. The Orthodox associates the act of the priest in this liturgy with veneration for icons, which represent their prototype who is Christ. Latter-day Saints understand the Sacrament as a remembrance of the body and blood of Christ. Sanctification is from the Spirit and takes place in the recipients who bring a broken heart and contrite spirit to the prayer and the partaking (see Sacraments).

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. Although Catholicism and Orthodoxy understand celibacy to be a spiritual ideal, marriage is a grace-giving Sacrament that symbolizes the bond between Christ and the Church. Catholics hold that this is a life-long contract and do not permit divorce. Latter-day Saints teach that the eternal glorification of the family, and of the community of families within the Church, is the highest spiritual possibility. As the high priest who officiated in the ancient temple was married; and as the apostles were married, so today marriage is a high ordinance, to which others are preparatory. The nurture and love of the family of man, which is ultimately the family of God, is the proper work and glory of the saintly life. When sealed and sanctified by the authority of the priesthood, the covenants and relationships and duties of parenthood continue into the next world (see Celibacy; Marriage: Eternal; Teachings About the Family home page).

While honoring Mary, Latter-day Saints have no equivalent of the doctrines of the immaculate conception, perpetual virginity, and bodily assumption of Mary, nor of the Orthodox veneration of icons. Other LDS teachings differ significantly from traditional Catholic teaching: modification of classical readings of the omnipotence and omnipresence of God; the premortal existence of the spirits of all mankind; the affirmation that spirit is refined matter; the Fall as planned, voluntary, and essential to the growth of the soul amid contrast and opposition; the denial of original sin and of pedobaptism; the inclusive nature of the Abrahamic Covenant; and the replacement of heaven-hell distinction with the teaching of degrees of glory in the resurrection.

Bowling and Boys

Tonight I spent the evening with my younger brother. My younger brother and I have not always had the best relationship. I do not know if it is mostly my fault that we do not get along, or his, or if it's equally our faults. He can make me so mad and upset that I hardly ever really want to be with him... The one thing that we both seem to have fun doing is bowling. He happens to be an awesome bowler for a fifteen year old teenager. He's already been able to bowl about three 300 games. Me, well my average is barely 100 I think.... Tonight I decided I'd take him bowling because when we do go bowling together he is really fun to be with, and I needed to just get out a do something tonight. When I am upset about things there is just something about going into that particular bowling alley because it kind of feels like I am walking into a different place. I get into the zone of bowling and the atmosphere of this alley that helps take my mind off of things that I do not want to think about. I focus all my frustrations on hitting those pins down, and even though I am not that great at bowling, there is something therapeutic about using all the force you can to aim that ball at those pins and then hearing them when they get knocked over, it's so cool. Not to mention when you have the perfect music going in the background also makes it more easy to focus when bowling.
Tonight though was not a night where I could escape from all my problems....While there we happened to run into an old friend of mine, one of whom I do not really talk to anymore. I'll see him occasionally when we do something with both his and my family like pitch-in dinners or something, but those happen about once a year or so. It was a surprise to see him. It made me sad though, because he was once a huge part of my life growing up, and now, well, we're more like acquaintances. We've talked about how we've grown apart, and I told him how I felt like he kind of cut me out of his life with no explanation whatsoever. Usually when I see him, I tend to be the one to come up to him first and say hi, and I can never tell whether he's missed me at all as a friend, and so I've stopped being the one trying to make plans with him. I just got tired of being let down by this guy. The last time I saw him was at his little brother's graduation party, and when I found out he was coming that night I felt the need to have a drink just so I could hide how annoyed and frustrated I was with him. That night he told me he wanted to hang out with me more, and I looked at him and I told him I missed him too, but I was not going to be the one to call and make plans with him anymore. I told him if he really wanted to hang out and become friends again he had to be the one to initiate it. Well months have gone by since then and I have never heard from him, so tonight when he was the one to come over and say hi to me first I was shocked. I did not even notice he was at the bowling alley until he did come over and tapped me on the shoulder. Being around him tonight reminded me how much I do miss him, but I still think after the way he has treated me these past few years he has to do the work to get our friendship back. I realized that we do not even know who the other person is anymore. Both he and I have changed so much in the past three years there is no way he is still the guy I knew in my freshman year of college, and I am no where near the same person I was back then either. I do not know if we ever will get back to where our friendship was, but I did realize something tonight. In the past few years I have had some "trust" issues when it comes to getting close to people. I have been afraid to let my guard down and get close to other people because for some reason I've had this nagging fear that they would eventually just kind of leave me in the dust without any reason at all. I've come to the conclusion that a huge reason for this fear has to do with this guy, which is stupid. I should not let one guy, who was just a friend, hold that kind of power over me. I think realizing this tonight has given me some clarity which will hopefully help me get over the hurt this old friend has caused.

"I Have Seen the Lord. Come and See"

Yesterday while I was with some of my friends we were discussing about different ways to get more of the youth involved in the youth group. We have a nice sized youth-group, but we could always use more people. One of the main changes the year is the time of our youth Mass. Once a month the youth have a Mass that they are "in charge" of. They are supposed to do all the different ministries for the Mass. I was telling my friends that the youth Mass time changed from the normal six p.m. time in the evening to the noon Mass because our numbers were pretty low last year. My friends seemed somewhat sad about that, but I can see why the time needed to change.
While talking about the youth Mass, the youth bulletin came up. We try to get one out once a month. The person who kind of puts it all together was kind of down about the bulletin because she wished more people would sent in more interesting things for it. That's when the idea of using some of my blog entries for it came up. I don't know why I never really thought about putting some of my entries in it before. When the suggestion came up, I was somewhat hesitant to agree to is, which I guess is kind of silly. I mean, I write it here on the internet for everyone to see. I guess it is a little different watching people read what you wrote while you're sitting across from them, rather than never really knowing when people are reading it on here and what they are really thinking about my random posts. I figure though, that if the youth find it interesting than why not. I just have to figure out which ones I want to post....
Another suggestion that was brought up to the whole Mass time change, is to have an ongoing Bible study. I kind of laughed at that. I mean, I don't mind giving talks at retreats or leading sports stuff or helping our with youth Masses, but me and Bible studies do not get along very well. I would not even know what to have the high schoolers study each week. Then I mentioned about taking an hour during our parish's "first Friday" adoration time in the evening and then afterwords hanging out and doing something social. I think that would be kind of cool.
Another idea I had was having our own kind of "holy hour" thing on Sunday nights, only I would not call it "holy hour." I do like the idea of having a different person each week come up with something reflective about our faith each week, like a mini-retreat. I think that would be interesting to see happen too, although I do not know how many people would be interested in something like that.
I also would love to push more retreats like "Consumed" and "Steubie" conferences, and other things like that to the youth in some way. I know that once I went to those types of retreats I was never the same person. "Consumed" retreats are retreats focused all on Eucharistic adoration. I wrote a post more about why I just love these retreats, and you can read more about it here. If you want to see a promotional video, you can click here. I am tempted to ask and see if we can show the youth this little video when it comes closer to the "Consumed" retreat, and see if that would cause anyone to be more interested in it.... Anyway, the theme from that retreat is, "I have seen the Lord. Come and see."
I cannot wait until my friend who is also kind of "in charge" of the youth group gets back into town so I can mention some of these ideas to her and see what she thinks. If someone has another interesting suggestion I'd be happy to hear it. :) I just really want to get these kids excited and on fire about their faith, after all, they are the future of the Church... Just like the "Consumed" saying above, I want these kids to really fall in love with their faith and then become beacons of God's love in hopes of bringing other people closer to Him... I guess we'll see how this year goes.

Slowly learning how to deal

Today was a hot and muggy August day to say the least... It is so weird that my school year is just about to start and it is just now finally starting to feel like Summer.....

Today was the first day in a few weeks that I have been not down. Not exactly happy happy, but not totally feeling all blah and mopey like. I spent the morning sleeping in and then went to Mass at noon. Father Don's homily was all about how he would try to package up our faith and sell it in a grocery store... He talked about how the ingredient's part of the package would say real human flesh, real human blood, and God. He did not seem to think too many people would be interested in buying something like that from a super market. He then went on to talk about the nutrition facts and how it would say love, peace, serenity, so forth and so on. He talked about how he wished people really really would get how important the Eucharist is and how it is the most central part of our faith. He talked about how Catholics, especially "cradle" Catholics, take it for granted. It was a very interesting homily.
After Mass I spent the afternoon with my family. My mom rented the movie, "The Pink Panther 2" which was not necessarily my favorite movie ever, but it did have some cute moments. I realized as I was watching the movie how alike my father and Steve Martin are. I think it would be so funny to see them in a room together. I bet they would get along nicely.
A few friends of mine came over, and it was nice to see them. One of which has been kinda going through a lot of the same stuff I have these past few weeks, and it was just nice to talk to someone who really understood what I have been going through. It is one thing to try and talk about it with family, but I am glad I have someone to talk to who knows exactly how I am feeling. Being with her has helped lighten up my mood. I am slowly beginning to deal with the fact that life will go on no matter how much I wish it would just slow down and let me catch my breath. She seemed to understand that feeling.
We spent the night walking around in my neighborhood. We walked to the local park and played around on the playground equipment like little kids. We then went to The Chocolate Moose for some ice cream.
It was a nice day, despite the humidity. I think the big thing that brought me down is that I spent close to forty dollars on stuff for my dad to use to change my oil, but he can't do it because whoever changed it last stripped the bolt he needs to unscrew to change it. So it looks like I will have to take it somewhere and pay more money to get my oil changed. Go figure....

Once A Tomboy, Always A Tomboy...

Growing up I have always been more of a "tomboy" I guess you could say. Maybe it is because growing up, most of my friends were boys and so if I did not want to be bored I would go out and play with the guys. Still to this day I do not mind getting dirty every now and then, especially when I am playing a sport of some sort. I hated dressing up when I was little, and to this day I still prefer wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Don't get me wrong, I now do enjoy dressing up and being more feminine, but when I am at home and where I work I like being comfortable. I have always liked helping my dad in the garage whenever he was fixing something. I liked "playing around" with the tools he was not using. I especially liked hammering nails and things like that. When my dad would fix things around the house he would always call me or my older sister to come help him out, and when it came to moving around furniture he would again call me to help or my sister when she was home. He also liked to teach me how to throw a good punch in case we would ever have to defend ourselves. I think that is why he does not mind me doing tae-bo as a work-out, unlike my mom who seems to think it is not feminine.
I also liked hanging around my dad while he was fixing the car. Funny thing is, even to this day, all that observation has gone over my head. Cars are still pretty much a mystery to me. I think my dad has tried to show me how to change the oil in my car at least seven or eight times, and still for some reason I am totally clueless about how to do it. Today, however, I did something to my car that I figured out how to do all on my own. I changed my front blinker light bulb. My dad did not even know I needed it changed, and since I needed it done sooner rather than later I decided to try and figure it out on my own. I told myself that if it was too complicated than I would wait until my dad could change it, but I wanted to try it myself. So I went to the auto parts store and asked them to help me find the light bulb along with my oil filter because I need that changed as well. After the man helped me I went over to get some oil and I think he found me pretty amusing because when he asked me if I wanted a box for my oil, I thought he asked if I just wanted to buy a whole box of oil, so I told him no. When he asked me a second time if I would like something to hold all the stuff I was buying I said yes. He then said that I must need to get out more often. I felt like such a blond at that moment. I got the car stuff home and then proceeded to open my car manual to figure out how to get the light bulb in. It took me about fifteen minutes to figure it out, but I did do it. When I told my dad about it he laughed and said he was proud of me. I felt like a little kindergarten kid showing off my work. I can be such a dork sometimes.

"The Real Me"

The other night while I was looking around for some more good quotes to put in my quote books, I happened to find a quote that matches my personality so close;

"I'm the kind of girl you can hear from miles. The kind that if she sees you sad it's her job to make you happy. The girl who keeps messing up and says, 'oops, sorry.' I trip over everything. I am such a clutz. I get so mad at the simplest things. But I am also the girl who holds everything back. If you ask me what's wrong, I'll just lie and smile saying 'nothing.' The girl who is afraid to love because she's already lost so much."

I think there must be something in the water in my house because everyone all seems to be in crabby and short tempered moods. I've been down because of saying bye to so many people and guy problems and not too happy about going back to school. I am still in denial about classes starting back for me in a little over a week and I am still unprepared for the chaos that my life will be. I hope and pray that with the craziness of this upcoming semester I will not die from exhaustion. I foresee many late nights full of homework and then waking up early to work with the kids at the daycare followed by class and homework.... the cycle will never stop repeating itself for this next year.... So in my grumpy mood I turned on an old cd I haven't listened to in so long just to listen to something different for a change. The song below came on, and I swear it says pretty much how I am feeling and thinking at the moment.

"The Real Me"
Jaci Velasquez

People think I've got it all together
With the show and my sweet, sweet smile
But do they know if I've been happy ever
Pull up a chair 'cause this may take a while
O.K. so here's the thing

I've got my bad days, and some are even worse
I can be a blessing and you know, I can be a curse
I tremble at rejection, I'm scared to be alone
Sometimes I may be selfish, but I always make it home

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

So now you see that I am far from perfect
I will fall and I will make mistakes (oh, no)
But I am here and this has taken courage
Will you abandon me or will you stay
(Please stay with me)

I know that I'm demanding and sometimes insecure
I think I've got the answers, but then I'm not so sure
I sometimes need attention a little more than I should
But there is a part of me that would give the whole world if I could

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

Now I've gone and let you in
And I no longer will pretend
Will you please still be my friend
Will you please still be my friend
Do you see me now

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
Real me

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

"Rule the World"

With all the craziness in our country along with my own family, this reading, I think, could not have been put in at a better time for me....

Rule The World

Remember no prayer goes unanswered. Remember that the moment a thing seems wrong to you, or a person's actions to be not what you think they should be, at that moment begins your obligation and responsibility to pray for those wrongs to be righted, or that person to be different.

Face your responsibilities. What is wrong in your country, its statesmen, its laws, its people? Think out quietly, and make these matters your prayer matters. You will see lives you never touch altered, laws made at your request, evils banished.

Yes! Live in a large sense. Live to serve and to save. You may never go beyond one room, and yet you may become one of the most powerful forces for good in your country, in the world.

You may never see the mighty work you do, but I see it, evil sees it. Oh! it is a glorious life, the life of one who saves. Fellow-workers together with me. See this more and more.

Love with me, sharers of My life.

"State Mental Hospital Phone Menu"

I found this very amusing and thought I'd share...

State Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital. Please
select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
Mothership.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969696969696969696.

If you are bi-polar, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too
busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie
down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

All In A Day's Work....

I love my job. Working with kids has got to be one of the most fun jobs. I get to make messes and play and brainstorm for different ways to help the children learn important concepts in a way where the children enjoy every minute of it. In the past few months I have been working extremely hard to prove to myself and my boss that I am capable of taking the lead teaching position in my room if the lead teacher who is working with me at the moment does indeed decide to leave the daycare. She took the Summer off, and that left me in charge with the room and what would go on in it. I never really knew if I was getting all the things done that needed to be done or if I was missing something because all Summer my boss never really commented on my work. That was extremely frustrating to me.
Earlier this week, we had a child and his parent come into my room to kind of "try it out" and see how the little boy would do. So my co-worker and I went on doing our normal routine... letting the kids play outside for a little bit to get their energy out and then headed inside for circle time. Circle time for us consists of going over the letter of the week, which for this week is V, different words that start with the letter of the week, we go over the calendar, and the days of the week. Depending on what day it is we will sometimes have show-and-tell after that or we review the different letters we've covered, or we do an activity that focuses on the letter of the week. We then read a book about the theme of this week, which this week for is was all about how things grow, and after that we sing different songs with the kids. After circle time we then do an art activity which usually goes along with the theme of the week as well. Circle time usually lasts us about thirty minutes or so, which I think seems like a long time for kids to pay attention, but everyday they don't show signs of being tired of it until about a half hour passes. We do this schedule every day with the kids.
After our visitors left, my boss came into the room and told my friend and I that we did great work that day. The mother loved everything she saw us do and he could not have been more pleased with the comments she was giving him. We both thanked him, but inside my head I was thinking, "Finally, some recognition here." I don't need to be recognized for my hard work all the time, but every so often it is nice to hear that I am doing a great job.
Tonight while I was telling my mom this, she then told me that she was talking to a father of one of the kid's at the daycare. She said he came over to her while she was in the middle of answering someone's inquiry of how I was doing. When he realized she was talking about me, he told her with a smile, "Ahh... Miss Teresa. She is such a great caregiver over there. She fits well at St. Charles." It was nice to hear that from a parent of the kids that I've taken care of. It lets me know that I must be doing something right.

A refreshing story....

I was watching a Jason Everett talk the other day. On the dvd his wife was able to speak a little bit about her story. You see, apparently she did not live the most chaste lifestyle. After a few years of getting emotionally hurt through the wrong kind of attention she decided enough was enough and ended up changing her ways. She talked about how incredibly hard it was for her to stop going out and partying and flirting with the wrong kinds of guys. She found that it was easier to write her future husband a note after every time she sacrificed a night of "fun" for him. She then gave her husband those letters the first night of their honeymoon. She also talked about how one night in particular she was having a hard time living chastely because she missed the attention from guys in general. She said at the time she did not even know exactly what she was looking for and so she felt kind of in a rut. So one night she went to adoration at her local church and she broke down and cried to God about how confused and frustrated and hurt she was. She said she sat quietly there for awhile when she got the idea to write out the qualities she wanted in her husband. She said her list ended up with somewhere around thirty-five specific qualities for that future husband. She prayed to God and kind of made a bargain with him. She told him she would keep to the whole chastity thing if he would send her a guy who fit every single one of those qualities. She spend a few more years dating guys and getting to know them, but if they showed signs of pushing her into doing certain things she did not want to do, she would show them to the door. Eventually she did meet the guy who would become her husband, and after awhile she found that every single quality she wanted in a husband, this man ended up having it. So she kept her end of the deal and God kept His. She then challenged all the young ladies and woman in her audience to pray to God and make a list of their own and to then not back down from that list.
The other night I woke up and I could not go back to sleep so I decided I'd go to adoration at my church. While I was in Adoration, I did take the time out to do that simple challenge. I still have not made up my mind as to whether I want to put that list here on this blog, but I do have to say I feel much more sure of myself as to what I am looking for. I guess we'll see if I'll be as successful with this deal as she was.

"We're adults.... When did that happen, and how do we make it stop???"

Yesterday I spent the late afternoon with an old friend. It was his last day here before he left for college and the seminary. It was a nice visit with him and his family, as always, but the fact that this guy is leaving for college today still throws me for a loop. I've known him since he was in kindergarten and he is now 18 and considered an adult, but to me I still see the little six year old kid who cried when his rosary broke while we were in the middle of praying it. Thinking about that memory I realize that I should have known then he was going to want to become a priest. We spent most of the time chatting about memories from growing up and homeschooling together, and then being all sentimental ended up causing me to start to tear up on him.
I hate crying in front of people. I can't explain why, but I get so mad at myself when I let it happen. I hate showing when I am upset because I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I think that telling my problems to other people is somewhat selfish. I can't really explain why I feel that way because I get annoyed with people who feel the same exact way when they end up breaking down on me. It's just a stupid flaw of mine I guess. Maybe it has to do with me being a little prideful. There's a quote I read a while back ago which fits me pretty darn well: "I am the type of girl who can be so hurt, but can still look at you and smile. The type of girl who is willing to brighten up your day even if she can't brighten up her own." I don't think I totally meant to go into all that pride stuff in this post, but I guess that's what happens sometimes when you let your mind wonder... it goes in a direction you wouldn't expect.
Anyway, so even though I know that yesterday was not a "final" good-bye to this person who has become a brother to me, but in a way it was a good-bye to the childhood part of our friendship. There are way to many memories with him growing up together that I could write a book. He will always hold a special place in my heart and there is no doubt in my mind we will be friends for life. The kind where I can't imagine my wedding without him being their to witness it, and if he does indeed make it to the priesthood I will fight so hard to make it to his ordination that nothing will stand in my way. The kind of friend who will no doubt be a godfather to one of my children. The thing that I love about this guy is that of all my friends who are not related to me, he knows me the best. There's another quote I found off of a bumper sticker on facebook; "A best friend is someone who pushed you to say your secret, didn’t say anything, hugged you, and wiped away your tears.” He is the guy that knows when I'm upset no matter how hard I try to hide it from everybody, and I try twice as hard to hide it from him. Sure, at the time I find it really frustrating and annoying, but if he didn't push me to let some emotions and secrets out, I would probably have kept them in until I would have blown up. I am lucky to have had him as a friend and "brother" in my life, and I really hope I have let him know enough how much I love and appreciate him, because I don't know what I would have done without him.

Thoughts on the movie, "The Ugly Truth"

Tonight one of the most embarrassing moments of my life happened to me, and I have had quite a few embarrassing moments, but I think this one is going under my top 10 list of embarrassing ones... You see there are things that happen to me, where if someone would have just warned me not to do it than I would not have done it. Tonight I went to see the movie "The Ugly Truth" with my friend, and because I had not eaten anything since lunch time I decided to get some popcorn for a change... well I learned that the next time anyone does get popcorn they should not keep it in their lap while watching the movie, because apparently the butter will go onto their jeans in a way that will make them look like they peed in their pants, and that five minute walk from the movie room to the car will most likely be the most awkward five minutes ever... I don't know why exactly I felt like sharing that with you all, but maybe it is because now that I have taken a shower and put on clean pants and have thought back on those five embarrassing minutes I have been laughing really hard at my dorky self. Something like that would only happen to me, and I guess it is better that I can laugh at it than to cry.
Anyway, the movie "The Ugly Truth" was definitely entertaining, but I do not know if I can totally agree with the way men are portrayed in the movie. They can't all be pigs. Maybe the majority of men are, but I don't think all of them can be pigs. I refuse to believe that is the case. Even the main lead male in the movie who claimed all men care about is how a girl looks and how she is in bed ends up falling for the classy girl. In a way I think he proved his own theory about men wrong. I think that looks most definitely plays the most important part in attraction, obviously, but I don't think it's the only thing.
I think it must be the hopeless romantic in me that believes that there are still men out there who find a confident woman who knows her self-worth and does not need to flaunt it for the world to see very attractive.

Temptation: It's always hard to say no...

I think I may have mentioned before that I happen to be a fan of the television show, "So You Think You Can Dance." I am a huge fan of dancing and am somewhat secretly jealous of the people who are able to move that way. The video I posted below is actually focused all on addiction. The male is portraying the addiction while the woman is portraying the addict. The video actually starts on second 13 or something like that...I have not been moved by a dance such a way as I was with this one. I know that the choreographer wanted this focused on addiction, but I have to say that this one particular dance also made me think about human nature and how the devil is always there waiting for us to feel weak... He's always cunning and when we think we are on top of the world and will not do something to bring Jesus down, Satan is always there waiting patiently for his turn to strike, and then we fall into his gravity. He makes something look so great while we are down and then after you have sinned you feel sick and want nothing to do with him, but he is always there and very ready to strike again when you least expect it. The music for this dance is also amazing for this message. The lyrics for the entire song I have posted below.

Gravity
Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I’ll still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in you and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down
Your keeping me down,
Your on to me, your on to me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes to long…

Thankful For Days Like These

Today was filled with a few different and pleasant surprises for me.
The first is how gorgeous today was. After the past few days being filled with rain and thunderstorms and cloudy skies, it was so nice to wake-up to a beautiful sunny day. Another plus about it was that there was hardly any humidity whatsoever, so it was the perfect temperature. I loved it!
The second was how I got too leave work an hour and a half earlier than usual because for whatever reason all of the parents of my kids decided to pick them up early. They were all gone by 4 p.m., which never ever ever happens... I love my job, and I love those kids, but it was still a nice surprise to leave that early. I did not know what to do with that extra free time so I went for a drive to the lake while jamming to some Rascal Flatts in my car and the windows rolled down. It was the perfect day for that.
The best surprise of all though, was when I came home and found out my three nephews were spending the night with us. I have hardly been able to see them all Summer long, so I have been excited and happy to hang out with them. It amazes me how much taller the older two boys have gotten in just a few months time. The oldest is just a few inches away from passing me up, and he's only nine... We took the boys to our neighborhood park and had a pic-nic dinner. I had fun playing around with them on the playground and walking over to the creek where we took turns skipping rocks and playing in the water. I didn't play to much in the water though because it was way too cold for me. Now as I am sitting here typing they are finishing up getting ready to lay down and watch a movie to fall asleep.
As much as I love these kinds of days, I am glad they do not happen to very often, because if they did I think I would take them for granted and not enjoy them nearly enough.

Regrets...

"Past experience should be a guide post, not a hitching post."

-D. W. Williams

When I get bored and I happen to be on facebook I tend to fill out those silly surveys that people put up. I noticed that in almost every one the question, "If there was something you could change in your past would you, and why?" will come up. It is not necessarily put in those exact words, but the meaning is still the same. I always kind of giggle at that question. I think that everyone has some regrets about their past, I know I certainly do. The thing about regret is that it teaches you a lesson, and it is probably something you would not have learned if you had not made that mistake in your past. I think regrets help make you into the person you are today. Maybe, the only way that lesson would have really hit home and you learned something from it was by making that mistake yourself. So, in a way, I am grateful for every lesson I learned from regrets I have made. Even though I do regret some things, I know that if I went back in the past I would not change a thing.

$90 Pizza???

I was looking at the yahoo news when I happened to find a story that caught my eye... Needless to say, even if I lived in Dallas, I would not go to see one of their games... I'd be in debt.... All I can say is that better be some amazing pizza.

Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:56 pm EDT

The new Dallas Cowboys Stadium will offer $90 pizzas

By Chris Chase

The colossal new Dallas Cowboys Stadium is living proof that everything is bigger in Texas. The menu in the luxury suites proves that things there are more expensive too.

Those enjoying a Cowboys game from a luxury suite at the new stadium will have to shell out $90 for pizza and $66 for a 12-pack of domestic beer, reports Steven Sipple of the Lincoln Journal World. Ninety bucks for pizza? That's almost as much of a rip-off as Roy Williams.

It costs $800,000 per year to lease one of those luxury suites, a hefty sum that doesn't include game tickets. On the bright side, the stadium's official Web site says that "having your company's name on a suite makes an important statement about your success" and can help make an impression on clients. (Namely that they're paying you way too much money.)

As for the $90 pizza, that's the cost for a plain pizza. No word on how much each topping costs but, suffice it to say, if you're a fan of pepperoni you may want to consider refinancing your mortgage before you head down to watch the Cowboys.

"I'm single and that's how I wanna be."

When I went down South in Tennessee last year to visit my family I could not help but notice that there is a little bit of a culture change there from here in Indiana, where I live. Apparently down there that if you are not married or engaged by age 20 there must be something wrong with you... like you are already considered an "old maid." I think I was asked by every single cousin of mine (and trust me, I have A LOT of cousins down in Tenn.) whether I was married. When I told them no, I got that same look of shock from each of them. They always followed up that question by asking me whether I was dating someone and engaged, and when I answered no again, they again gave the same look of shock on their faces. They all were shocked that I was 21 and okay with being single. It was weird to me because up here, none of my friends have gotten married, and very few of my acquaintances have even been engaged.... No one seems to be in as big of a rush to find their "significant other," and it seems strange to me when I meet someone my age who is married and has kids. It is not so "taboo" to be single while enjoying it. As I have said before, I cannot wait to meet my future husband, but in God's time, not mine. Until God is ready for me to meet him, I am more than willing to enjoy being single and going after some of my goals. The song below is one of my favorites... it's all about how you do not need to be in a relationship to be "somebody"... it's about taking pride in who you are and if you meet and fall in love with someone than that's great, but it's not everything.

Single
Natasha Bedingfield

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you
Yeah

I'm not waiting around for a man to save me
('Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me... whole

Make your move if you want
Doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
You either got it or you don't

[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm trading places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I'm gonna be

Ah yeah uh huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

[Repeat Chorus]

Everything in it's right time everything in its right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way... it's my way
Yes I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

[Repeat Chorus]